A Midsummer Night’s Dream

1 Enter Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snout and Starveling.
2 QUINCE.
3 Is all our company here?
4 BOTTOM.
5 You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the
6 scrip.
7 QUINCE.
8 Here is the scroll of every man’s name, which is thought fit through
9 all Athens, to play in our interlude before the Duke and Duchess, on
10 his wedding-day at night.
11 BOTTOM.
12 First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on; then read the
13 names of the actors; and so grow to a point.
14 QUINCE.
15 Marry, our play is _The most lamentable comedy and most cruel death of
16 Pyramus and Thisbe_.
17 BOTTOM.
18 A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry. Now, good Peter
19 Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll. Masters, spread
20 yourselves.
21 QUINCE.
22 Answer, as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.
23 BOTTOM.
24 Ready. Name what part I am for, and proceed.
25 QUINCE.
26 You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.
27 BOTTOM.
28 What is Pyramus—a lover, or a tyrant?
29 QUINCE.
30 A lover, that kills himself most gallantly for love.
31 BOTTOM.
32 That will ask some tears in the true performing of it. If I do it, let
33 the audience look to their eyes. I will move storms; I will condole in
34 some measure. To the rest—yet my chief humour is for a tyrant. I could
35 play Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in, to make all split.
36 The raging rocks
37 And shivering shocks
38 Shall break the locks
39 Of prison gates,
40 And Phibbus’ car
41 Shall shine from far,
42 And make and mar
43 The foolish Fates.
44 This was lofty. Now name the rest of the players. This is Ercles’ vein,
45 a tyrant’s vein; a lover is more condoling.
46 QUINCE.
47 Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.
48 FLUTE.
49 Here, Peter Quince.
50 QUINCE.
51 Flute, you must take Thisbe on you.
52 FLUTE.
53 What is Thisbe? A wandering knight?
54 QUINCE.
55 It is the lady that Pyramus must love.
56 FLUTE.
57 Nay, faith, let not me play a woman. I have a beard coming.
58 QUINCE.
59 That’s all one. You shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small
60 as you will.
61 BOTTOM.
62 And I may hide my face, let me play Thisbe too. I’ll speak in a
63 monstrous little voice; ‘Thisne, Thisne!’—‘Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear!
64 thy Thisbe dear! and lady dear!’
65 QUINCE.
66 No, no, you must play Pyramus; and, Flute, you Thisbe.
67 BOTTOM.
68 Well, proceed.
69 QUINCE.
70 Robin Starveling, the tailor.
71 STARVELING.
72 Here, Peter Quince.
73 QUINCE.
74 Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe’s mother.
75 Tom Snout, the tinker.
76 SNOUT
77 Here, Peter Quince.
78 QUINCE.
79 You, Pyramus’ father; myself, Thisbe’s father;
80 Snug, the joiner, you, the lion’s part. And, I hope here is a play
81 fitted.
82 SNUG
83 Have you the lion’s part written? Pray you, if it be, give it me, for I
84 am slow of study.
85 QUINCE.
86 You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.
87 BOTTOM.
88 Let me play the lion too. I will roar that I will do any man’s heart
89 good to hear me. I will roar that I will make the Duke say ‘Let him
90 roar again, let him roar again.’
91 QUINCE.
92 If you should do it too terribly, you would fright the Duchess and the
93 ladies, that they would shriek; and that were enough to hang us all.
94 ALL
95 That would hang us every mother’s son.
96 BOTTOM.
97 I grant you, friends, if you should fright the ladies out of their
98 wits, they would have no more discretion but to hang us. But I will
99 aggravate my voice so, that I will roar you as gently as any sucking
100 dove; I will roar you an ’twere any nightingale.
101 QUINCE.
102 You can play no part but Pyramus, for Pyramus is a sweet-faced man; a
103 proper man as one shall see in a summer’s day; a most lovely
104 gentleman-like man. Therefore you must needs play Pyramus.
105 BOTTOM.
106 Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in?
107 QUINCE.
108 Why, what you will.
109 BOTTOM.
110 I will discharge it in either your straw-colour beard, your
111 orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your
112 French-crown-colour beard, your perfect yellow.
113 QUINCE.
114 Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play
115 bare-faced. But, masters, here are your parts, and I am to entreat you,
116 request you, and desire you, to con them by tomorrow night; and meet me
117 in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by moonlight; there will
118 we rehearse, for if we meet in the city, we shall be dogg’d with
119 company, and our devices known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of
120 properties, such as our play wants. I pray you fail me not.
121 BOTTOM.
122 We will meet, and there we may rehearse most obscenely and
123 courageously. Take pains, be perfect; adieu.
124 QUINCE.
125 At the Duke’s oak we meet.
126 BOTTOM.
127 Enough. Hold, or cut bow-strings.
128 [_Exeunt._]