All’s Well That Ends Well

1 Flourish. Enter King, Countess, Lafew, Lords, Gentlemen, Guards &c.
2 KING.
3 We lost a jewel of her, and our esteem
4 Was made much poorer by it; but your son,
5 As mad in folly, lack’d the sense to know
6 Her estimation home.
7 COUNTESS.
8 ’Tis past, my liege,
9 And I beseech your majesty to make it
10 Natural rebellion, done i’ the blaze of youth,
11 When oil and fire, too strong for reason’s force,
12 O’erbears it and burns on.
13 KING.
14 My honour’d lady,
15 I have forgiven and forgotten all,
16 Though my revenges were high bent upon him,
17 And watch’d the time to shoot.
18 LAFEW.
19 This I must say,—
20 But first, I beg my pardon,—the young lord
21 Did to his majesty, his mother, and his lady,
22 Offence of mighty note; but to himself
23 The greatest wrong of all. He lost a wife
24 Whose beauty did astonish the survey
25 Of richest eyes; whose words all ears took captive;
26 Whose dear perfection hearts that scorn’d to serve
27 Humbly call’d mistress.
28 KING.
29 Praising what is lost
30 Makes the remembrance dear. Well, call him hither;
31 We are reconcil’d, and the first view shall kill
32 All repetition. Let him not ask our pardon;
33 The nature of his great offence is dead,
34 And deeper than oblivion do we bury
35 Th’ incensing relics of it. Let him approach
36 A stranger, no offender; and inform him
37 So ’tis our will he should.
38 GENTLEMAN.
39 I shall, my liege.
40 [_Exit Gentleman._]
41 KING.
42 What says he to your daughter? Have you spoke?
43 LAFEW.
44 All that he is hath reference to your highness.
45 KING.
46 Then shall we have a match. I have letters sent me
47 That sets him high in fame.
48 Enter Bertram.
49 LAFEW.
50 He looks well on ’t.
51 KING.
52 I am not a day of season,
53 For thou mayst see a sunshine and a hail
54 In me at once. But to the brightest beams
55 Distracted clouds give way; so stand thou forth;
56 The time is fair again.
57 BERTRAM.
58 My high-repented blames
59 Dear sovereign, pardon to me.
60 KING.
61 All is whole.
62 Not one word more of the consumed time.
63 Let’s take the instant by the forward top;
64 For we are old, and on our quick’st decrees
65 Th’inaudible and noiseless foot of time
66 Steals ere we can effect them. You remember
67 The daughter of this lord?
68 BERTRAM.
69 Admiringly, my liege. At first
70 I stuck my choice upon her, ere my heart
71 Durst make too bold herald of my tongue:
72 Where the impression of mine eye infixing,
73 Contempt his scornful perspective did lend me,
74 Which warp’d the line of every other favour,
75 Scorn’d a fair colour, or express’d it stolen,
76 Extended or contracted all proportions
77 To a most hideous object. Thence it came
78 That she whom all men prais’d, and whom myself,
79 Since I have lost, have lov’d, was in mine eye
80 The dust that did offend it.
81 KING.
82 Well excus’d:
83 That thou didst love her, strikes some scores away
84 From the great compt: but love that comes too late,
85 Like a remorseful pardon slowly carried,
86 To the great sender turns a sour offence,
87 Crying, That’s good that’s gone. Our rash faults
88 Make trivial price of serious things we have,
89 Not knowing them until we know their grave.
90 Oft our displeasures, to ourselves unjust,
91 Destroy our friends, and after weep their dust:
92 Our own love waking cries to see what’s done,
93 While shameful hate sleeps out the afternoon.
94 Be this sweet Helen’s knell, and now forget her.
95 Send forth your amorous token for fair Maudlin.
96 The main consents are had, and here we’ll stay
97 To see our widower’s second marriage-day.
98 COUNTESS.
99 Which better than the first, O dear heaven, bless!
100 Or, ere they meet, in me, O nature, cesse!
101 LAFEW.
102 Come on, my son, in whom my house’s name
103 Must be digested; give a favour from you,
104 To sparkle in the spirits of my daughter,
105 That she may quickly come.
106 [_Bertram gives a ring to Lafew._]
107 By my old beard,
108 And ev’ry hair that’s on ’t, Helen that’s dead
109 Was a sweet creature: such a ring as this,
110 The last that e’er I took her leave at court,
111 I saw upon her finger.
112 BERTRAM.
113 Hers it was not.
114 KING.
115 Now, pray you, let me see it; for mine eye,
116 While I was speaking, oft was fasten’d to it.
117 This ring was mine; and when I gave it Helen
118 I bade her, if her fortunes ever stood
119 Necessitied to help, that by this token
120 I would relieve her. Had you that craft to ’reave her
121 Of what should stead her most?
122 BERTRAM.
123 My gracious sovereign,
124 Howe’er it pleases you to take it so,
125 The ring was never hers.
126 COUNTESS.
127 Son, on my life,
128 I have seen her wear it; and she reckon’d it
129 At her life’s rate.
130 LAFEW.
131 I am sure I saw her wear it.
132 BERTRAM.
133 You are deceiv’d, my lord; she never saw it.
134 In Florence was it from a casement thrown me,
135 Wrapp’d in a paper, which contain’d the name
136 Of her that threw it. Noble she was, and thought
137 I stood engag’d; but when I had subscrib’d
138 To mine own fortune, and inform’d her fully
139 I could not answer in that course of honour
140 As she had made the overture, she ceas’d,
141 In heavy satisfaction, and would never
142 Receive the ring again.
143 KING.
144 Plutus himself,
145 That knows the tinct and multiplying medicine,
146 Hath not in nature’s mystery more science
147 Than I have in this ring. ’Twas mine, ’twas Helen’s,
148 Whoever gave it you. Then if you know
149 That you are well acquainted with yourself,
150 Confess ’twas hers, and by what rough enforcement
151 You got it from her. She call’d the saints to surety
152 That she would never put it from her finger
153 Unless she gave it to yourself in bed,
154 Where you have never come, or sent it us
155 Upon her great disaster.
156 BERTRAM.
157 She never saw it.
158 KING.
159 Thou speak’st it falsely, as I love mine honour,
160 And mak’st conjectural fears to come into me
161 Which I would fain shut out. If it should prove
162 That thou art so inhuman,—’twill not prove so:
163 And yet I know not, thou didst hate her deadly.
164 And she is dead; which nothing but to close
165 Her eyes myself, could win me to believe
166 More than to see this ring. Take him away.
167 [_Guards seize Bertram._]
168 My fore-past proofs, howe’er the matter fall,
169 Shall tax my fears of little vanity,
170 Having vainly fear’d too little. Away with him.
171 We’ll sift this matter further.
172 BERTRAM.
173 If you shall prove
174 This ring was ever hers, you shall as easy
175 Prove that I husbanded her bed in Florence,
176 Where she yet never was.
177 [_Exit, guarded._]
178 KING.
179 I am wrapp’d in dismal thinkings.
180 Enter a Gentleman.
181 GENTLEMAN.
182 Gracious sovereign,
183 Whether I have been to blame or no, I know not:
184 Here’s a petition from a Florentine,
185 Who hath for four or five removes come short
186 To tender it herself. I undertook it,
187 Vanquish’d thereto by the fair grace and speech
188 Of the poor suppliant, who by this, I know,
189 Is here attending: her business looks in her
190 With an importing visage, and she told me
191 In a sweet verbal brief, it did concern
192 Your highness with herself.
193 KING.
194 [_Reads._] _Upon his many protestations to marry me when his wife was
195 dead, I blush to say it, he won me. Now is the Count Rossillon a
196 widower; his vows are forfeited to me, and my honour’s paid to him. He
197 stole from Florence, taking no leave, and I follow him to his country
198 for justice. Grant it me, O king, in you it best lies; otherwise a
199 seducer flourishes, and a poor maid is undone._
200 DIANA CAPILET.
201 LAFEW.
202 I will buy me a son-in-law in a fair, and toll for this. I’ll none of
203 him.
204 KING.
205 The heavens have thought well on thee, Lafew,
206 To bring forth this discovery. Seek these suitors.
207 Go speedily, and bring again the count.
208 [_Exeunt Gentleman and some Attendants._]
209 I am afeard the life of Helen, lady,
210 Was foully snatch’d.
211 COUNTESS.
212 Now, justice on the doers!
213 Enter Bertram, guarded.
214 KING.
215 I wonder, sir, since wives are monsters to you,
216 And that you fly them as you swear them lordship,
217 Yet you desire to marry. What woman’s that?
218 Enter Widow and Diana.
219 DIANA.
220 I am, my lord, a wretched Florentine,
221 Derived from the ancient Capilet;
222 My suit, as I do understand, you know,
223 And therefore know how far I may be pitied.
224 WIDOW.
225 I am her mother, sir, whose age and honour
226 Both suffer under this complaint we bring,
227 And both shall cease, without your remedy.
228 KING.
229 Come hither, count; do you know these women?
230 BERTRAM.
231 My lord, I neither can nor will deny
232 But that I know them. Do they charge me further?
233 DIANA.
234 Why do you look so strange upon your wife?
235 BERTRAM.
236 She’s none of mine, my lord.
237 DIANA.
238 If you shall marry,
239 You give away this hand, and that is mine,
240 You give away heaven’s vows, and those are mine,
241 You give away myself, which is known mine;
242 For I by vow am so embodied yours
243 That she which marries you must marry me,
244 Either both or none.
245 LAFEW.
246 [_To Bertram_] Your reputation comes too short for my daughter; you are
247 no husband for her.
248 BERTRAM.
249 My lord, this is a fond and desperate creature
250 Whom sometime I have laugh’d with. Let your highness
251 Lay a more noble thought upon mine honour
252 Than for to think that I would sink it here.
253 KING.
254 Sir, for my thoughts, you have them ill to friend
255 Till your deeds gain them; fairer prove your honour
256 Than in my thought it lies!
257 DIANA.
258 Good my lord,
259 Ask him upon his oath, if he does think
260 He had not my virginity.
261 KING.
262 What say’st thou to her?
263 BERTRAM.
264 She’s impudent, my lord,
265 And was a common gamester to the camp.
266 DIANA.
267 He does me wrong, my lord; if I were so
268 He might have bought me at a common price.
269 Do not believe him. O, behold this ring,
270 Whose high respect and rich validity
271 Did lack a parallel; yet for all that
272 He gave it to a commoner o’ the camp,
273 If I be one.
274 COUNTESS.
275 He blushes, and ’tis it.
276 Of six preceding ancestors, that gem
277 Conferr’d by testament to th’ sequent issue,
278 Hath it been owed and worn. This is his wife;
279 That ring’s a thousand proofs.
280 KING.
281 Methought you said
282 You saw one here in court could witness it.
283 DIANA.
284 I did, my lord, but loath am to produce
285 So bad an instrument; his name’s Parolles.
286 LAFEW.
287 I saw the man today, if man he be.
288 KING.
289 Find him, and bring him hither.
290 [_Exit an Attendant._]
291 BERTRAM.
292 What of him?
293 He’s quoted for a most perfidious slave,
294 With all the spots o’ the world tax’d and debauch’d:
295 Whose nature sickens but to speak a truth.
296 Am I or that or this for what he’ll utter,
297 That will speak anything?
298 KING.
299 She hath that ring of yours.
300 BERTRAM.
301 I think she has. Certain it is I lik’d her
302 And boarded her i’ the wanton way of youth.
303 She knew her distance, and did angle for me,
304 Madding my eagerness with her restraint,
305 As all impediments in fancy’s course
306 Are motives of more fancy; and in fine,
307 Her infinite cunning with her modern grace,
308 Subdu’d me to her rate; she got the ring,
309 And I had that which any inferior might
310 At market-price have bought.
311 DIANA.
312 I must be patient.
313 You that have turn’d off a first so noble wife
314 May justly diet me. I pray you yet,—
315 Since you lack virtue, I will lose a husband—
316 Send for your ring, I will return it home,
317 And give me mine again.
318 BERTRAM.
319 I have it not.
320 KING.
321 What ring was yours, I pray you?
322 DIANA.
323 Sir, much like
324 The same upon your finger.
325 KING.
326 Know you this ring? This ring was his of late.
327 DIANA.
328 And this was it I gave him, being abed.
329 KING.
330 The story then goes false you threw it him
331 Out of a casement.
332 DIANA.
333 I have spoke the truth.
334 Enter Attendant with Parolles.
335 BERTRAM.
336 My lord, I do confess the ring was hers.
337 KING.
338 You boggle shrewdly; every feather starts you.
339 Is this the man you speak of?
340 DIANA.
341 Ay, my lord.
342 KING.
343 Tell me, sirrah, but tell me true I charge you,
344 Not fearing the displeasure of your master,
345 Which on your just proceeding, I’ll keep off,—
346 By him and by this woman here what know you?
347 PAROLLES.
348 So please your majesty, my master hath been an honourable gentleman.
349 Tricks he hath had in him, which gentlemen have.
350 KING.
351 Come, come, to the purpose. Did he love this woman?
352 PAROLLES.
353 Faith, sir, he did love her; but how?
354 KING.
355 How, I pray you?
356 PAROLLES.
357 He did love her, sir, as a gentleman loves a woman.
358 KING.
359 How is that?
360 PAROLLES.
361 He lov’d her, sir, and lov’d her not.
362 KING.
363 As thou art a knave and no knave.
364 What an equivocal companion is this!
365 PAROLLES.
366 I am a poor man, and at your majesty’s command.
367 LAFEW.
368 He’s a good drum, my lord, but a naughty orator.
369 DIANA.
370 Do you know he promised me marriage?
371 PAROLLES.
372 Faith, I know more than I’ll speak.
373 KING.
374 But wilt thou not speak all thou know’st?
375 PAROLLES.
376 Yes, so please your majesty. I did go between them as I said; but more
377 than that, he loved her, for indeed he was mad for her, and talked of
378 Satan, and of Limbo, and of furies, and I know not what: yet I was in
379 that credit with them at that time that I knew of their going to bed;
380 and of other motions, as promising her marriage, and things which would
381 derive me ill will to speak of; therefore I will not speak what I know.
382 KING.
383 Thou hast spoken all already, unless thou canst say they are married;
384 but thou art too fine in thy evidence; therefore stand aside. This
385 ring, you say, was yours?
386 DIANA.
387 Ay, my good lord.
388 KING.
389 Where did you buy it? Or who gave it you?
390 DIANA.
391 It was not given me, nor I did not buy it.
392 KING.
393 Who lent it you?
394 DIANA.
395 It was not lent me neither.
396 KING.
397 Where did you find it then?
398 DIANA.
399 I found it not.
400 KING.
401 If it were yours by none of all these ways,
402 How could you give it him?
403 DIANA.
404 I never gave it him.
405 LAFEW.
406 This woman’s an easy glove, my lord; she goes off and on at pleasure.
407 KING.
408 This ring was mine, I gave it his first wife.
409 DIANA.
410 It might be yours or hers for ought I know.
411 KING.
412 Take her away, I do not like her now.
413 To prison with her. And away with him.
414 Unless thou tell’st me where thou hadst this ring,
415 Thou diest within this hour.
416 DIANA.
417 I’ll never tell you.
418 KING.
419 Take her away.
420 DIANA.
421 I’ll put in bail, my liege.
422 KING.
423 I think thee now some common customer.
424 DIANA.
425 By Jove, if ever I knew man, ’twas you.
426 KING.
427 Wherefore hast thou accus’d him all this while?
428 DIANA.
429 Because he’s guilty, and he is not guilty.
430 He knows I am no maid, and he’ll swear to’t:
431 I’ll swear I am a maid, and he knows not.
432 Great King, I am no strumpet, by my life;
433 I am either maid, or else this old man’s wife.
434 [_Pointing to Lafew._]
435 KING.
436 She does abuse our ears; to prison with her.
437 DIANA.
438 Good mother, fetch my bail. Stay, royal sir;
439 [_Exit Widow._]
440 The jeweller that owes the ring is sent for,
441 And he shall surety me. But for this lord
442 Who hath abus’d me as he knows himself,
443 Though yet he never harm’d me, here I quit him.
444 He knows himself my bed he hath defil’d;
445 And at that time he got his wife with child.
446 Dead though she be, she feels her young one kick;
447 So there’s my riddle: one that’s dead is quick,
448 And now behold the meaning.
449 Enter Widow with Helena.
450 KING.
451 Is there no exorcist
452 Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes?
453 Is’t real that I see?
454 HELENA.
455 No, my good lord;
456 ’Tis but the shadow of a wife you see,
457 The name, and not the thing.
458 BERTRAM.
459 Both, both. O, pardon!
460 HELENA.
461 O, my good lord, when I was like this maid;
462 I found you wondrous kind. There is your ring,
463 And, look you, here’s your letter. This it says,
464 ‘When from my finger you can get this ring,
465 And is by me with child, &c.’ This is done;
466 Will you be mine now you are doubly won?
467 BERTRAM.
468 If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly,
469 I’ll love her dearly, ever, ever dearly.
470 HELENA.
471 If it appear not plain, and prove untrue,
472 Deadly divorce step between me and you!
473 O my dear mother, do I see you living?
474 LAFEW.
475 Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon.
476 [_to Parolles_] Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkercher.
477 So, I thank thee. Wait on me home, I’ll make sport with thee.
478 Let thy courtesies alone, they are scurvy ones.
479 KING.
480 Let us from point to point this story know,
481 To make the even truth in pleasure flow.
482 [_To Diana._] If thou beest yet a fresh uncropped flower,
483 Choose thou thy husband, and I’ll pay thy dower;
484 For I can guess that by thy honest aid,
485 Thou kept’st a wife herself, thyself a maid.
486 Of that and all the progress more and less,
487 Resolvedly more leisure shall express.
488 All yet seems well, and if it end so meet,
489 The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.
490 [_Flourish._]
491 [EPILOGUE]
492 _The king’s a beggar, now the play is done;
493 All is well ended if this suit be won,
494 That you express content; which we will pay
495 With strife to please you, day exceeding day.
496 Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts;
497 Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts._
498 [_Exeunt omnes._]