As You Like It

1 Enter Orlando and Oliver.
2 ORLANDO.
3 Is’t possible that on so little acquaintance you should like her? That
4 but seeing, you should love her? And loving woo? And wooing, she should
5 grant? And will you persever to enjoy her?
6 OLIVER.
7 Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the
8 small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting. But
9 say with me, I love Aliena; say with her that she loves me; consent
10 with both that we may enjoy each other. It shall be to your good, for
11 my father’s house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I
12 estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.
13 Enter Rosalind.
14 ORLANDO.
15 You have my consent. Let your wedding be tomorrow. Thither will I
16 invite the Duke and all’s contented followers. Go you and prepare
17 Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind.
18 ROSALIND.
19 God save you, brother.
20 OLIVER.
21 And you, fair sister.
22 [_Exit._]
23 ROSALIND.
24 O my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a
25 scarf!
26 ORLANDO.
27 It is my arm.
28 ROSALIND.
29 I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.
30 ORLANDO.
31 Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
32 ROSALIND.
33 Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed
34 me your handkercher?
35 ORLANDO.
36 Ay, and greater wonders than that.
37 ROSALIND.
38 O, I know where you are. Nay, ’tis true. There was never anything so
39 sudden but the fight of two rams, and Caesar’s thrasonical brag of “I
40 came, saw and overcame.” For your brother and my sister no sooner met
41 but they looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no sooner loved but
42 they sighed; no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason; no
43 sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these degrees
44 have they made pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb
45 incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage. They are in the
46 very wrath of love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part them.
47 ORLANDO.
48 They shall be married tomorrow, and I will bid the Duke to the nuptial.
49 But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another
50 man’s eyes! By so much the more shall I tomorrow be at the height of
51 heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy in having
52 what he wishes for.
53 ROSALIND.
54 Why, then, tomorrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind?
55 ORLANDO.
56 I can live no longer by thinking.
57 ROSALIND.
58 I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. Know of me then—for
59 now I speak to some purpose—that I know you are a gentleman of good
60 conceit. I speak not this that you should bear a good opinion of my
61 knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are. Neither do I labour for a
62 greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you,
63 to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please,
64 that I can do strange things. I have, since I was three year old,
65 conversed with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not
66 damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture
67 cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena shall you marry her. I
68 know into what straits of fortune she is driven and it is not
69 impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her
70 before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is, and without any danger.
71 ORLANDO.
72 Speak’st thou in sober meanings?
73 ROSALIND.
74 By my life, I do, which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician.
75 Therefore put you in your best array, bid your friends; for if you will
76 be married tomorrow, you shall, and to Rosalind, if you will.
77 Enter Silvius and Phoebe.
78 Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.
79 PHOEBE.
80 Youth, you have done me much ungentleness
81 To show the letter that I writ to you.
82 ROSALIND.
83 I care not if I have; it is my study
84 To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
85 You are there followed by a faithful shepherd.
86 Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
87 PHOEBE.
88 Good shepherd, tell this youth what ’tis to love.
89 SILVIUS.
90 It is to be all made of sighs and tears,
91 And so am I for Phoebe.
92 PHOEBE.
93 And I for Ganymede.
94 ORLANDO.
95 And I for Rosalind.
96 ROSALIND.
97 And I for no woman.
98 SILVIUS.
99 It is to be all made of faith and service,
100 And so am I for Phoebe.
101 PHOEBE.
102 And I for Ganymede.
103 ORLANDO.
104 And I for Rosalind.
105 ROSALIND.
106 And I for no woman.
107 SILVIUS.
108 It is to be all made of fantasy,
109 All made of passion, and all made of wishes,
110 All adoration, duty, and observance,
111 All humbleness, all patience, and impatience,
112 All purity, all trial, all observance,
113 And so am I for Phoebe.
114 PHOEBE.
115 And so am I for Ganymede.
116 ORLANDO.
117 And so am I for Rosalind.
118 ROSALIND.
119 And so am I for no woman.
120 PHOEBE.
121 [_To Rosalind_.] If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
122 SILVIUS.
123 [_To Phoebe_.] If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
124 ORLANDO.
125 If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
126 ROSALIND.
127 Why do you speak too, “Why blame you me to love you?”
128 ORLANDO.
129 To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.
130 ROSALIND.
131 Pray you, no more of this, ’tis like the howling of Irish wolves
132 against the moon.
133 [_to Silvius_.] I will help you if I can.
134 [_to Phoebe_.] I would love you if I could.—Tomorrow meet me all
135 together.
136 [_to Phoebe_.] I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I’ll be
137 married tomorrow.
138 [_to Orlando_.] I will satisfy you if ever I satisfied man, and you
139 shall be married tomorrow.
140 [_to Silvius_.] I will content you, if what pleases you contents you,
141 and you shall be married tomorrow.
142 [_to Orlando_.] As you love Rosalind, meet.
143 [_to Silvius_.] As you love Phoebe, meet.—And as I love no woman, I’ll
144 meet. So fare you well. I have left you commands.
145 SILVIUS.
146 I’ll not fail, if I live.
147 PHOEBE.
148 Nor I.
149 ORLANDO.
150 Nor I.
151 [_Exeunt._]