King Henry The Eighth

1 Enter Anne Bullen and an Old Lady.
2 ANNE.
3 Not for that neither. Here’s the pang that pinches:
4 His Highness having lived so long with her, and she
5 So good a lady that no tongue could ever
6 Pronounce dishonour of her—by my life,
7 She never knew harm-doing—O, now, after
8 So many courses of the sun enthroned,
9 Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
10 To leave a thousandfold more bitter than
11 ’Tis sweet at first t’ acquire—after this process,
12 To give her the avaunt, it is a pity
13 Would move a monster.
14 OLD LADY.
15 Hearts of most hard temper
16 Melt and lament for her.
17 ANNE.
18 O, God’s will! Much better
19 She ne’er had known pomp; though’t be temporal,
20 Yet if that quarrel, Fortune, do divorce
21 It from the bearer, ’tis a sufferance panging
22 As soul and body’s severing.
23 OLD LADY.
24 Alas, poor lady,
25 She’s a stranger now again.
26 ANNE.
27 So much the more
28 Must pity drop upon her. Verily,
29 I swear, ’tis better to be lowly born
30 And range with humble livers in content
31 Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief,
32 And wear a golden sorrow.
33 OLD LADY.
34 Our content
35 Is our best having.
36 ANNE.
37 By my troth and maidenhead,
38 I would not be a queen.
39 OLD LADY.
40 Beshrew me, I would,
41 And venture maidenhead for’t; and so would you,
42 For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
43 You, that have so fair parts of woman on you,
44 Have too a woman’s heart, which ever yet
45 Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
46 Which, to say sooth, are blessings; and which gifts,
47 Saving your mincing, the capacity
48 Of your soft cheveril conscience would receive,
49 If you might please to stretch it.
50 ANNE.
51 Nay, good troth.
52 OLD LADY.
53 Yes, troth and troth. You would not be a queen?
54 ANNE.
55 No, not for all the riches under heaven.
56 OLD LADY.
57 ’Tis strange. A threepence bowed would hire me,
58 Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
59 What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
60 To bear that load of title?
61 ANNE.
62 No, in truth.
63 OLD LADY.
64 Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little.
65 I would not be a young count in your way
66 For more than blushing comes to. If your back
67 Cannot vouchsafe this burden, ’tis too weak
68 Ever to get a boy.
69 ANNE.
70 How you do talk!
71 I swear again I would not be a queen
72 For all the world.
73 OLD LADY.
74 In faith, for little England
75 You’d venture an emballing. I myself
76 Would for Caernarfonshire, although there longed
77 No more to th’ crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
78 Enter Lord Chamberlain.
79 CHAMBERLAIN.
80 Good morrow, ladies. What were’t worth to know
81 The secret of your conference?
82 ANNE.
83 My good lord,
84 Not your demand; it values not your asking.
85 Our mistress’ sorrows we were pitying.
86 CHAMBERLAIN.
87 It was a gentle business, and becoming
88 The action of good women. There is hope
89 All will be well.
90 ANNE.
91 Now, I pray God, amen!
92 CHAMBERLAIN.
93 You bear a gentle mind, and heavenly blessings
94 Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
95 Perceive I speak sincerely, and high note’s
96 Ta’en of your many virtues, the King’s Majesty
97 Commends his good opinion of you, and
98 Does purpose honour to you no less flowing
99 Than Marchioness of Pembroke, to which title
100 A thousand pound a year annual support
101 Out of his grace he adds.
102 ANNE.
103 I do not know
104 What kind of my obedience I should tender.
105 More than my all is nothing; nor my prayers
106 Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
107 More worth than empty vanities; yet prayers and wishes
108 Are all I can return. Beseech your lordship,
109 Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience,
110 As from a blushing handmaid, to his Highness,
111 Whose health and royalty I pray for.
112 CHAMBERLAIN.
113 Lady,
114 I shall not fail t’ approve the fair conceit
115 The King hath of you. [_Aside_.] I have perused her well.
116 Beauty and honour in her are so mingled
117 That they have caught the King; and who knows yet
118 But from this lady may proceed a gem
119 To lighten all this isle? I’ll to the King,
120 And say I spoke with you.
121 ANNE.
122 My honoured lord.
123 [_Exit Lord Chamberlain._]
124 OLD LADY.
125 Why, this it is: see, see!
126 I have been begging sixteen years in court,
127 Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could
128 Come pat betwixt too early and too late
129 For any suit of pounds; and you, O fate!
130 A very fresh fish here—fie, fie, fie upon
131 This compelled fortune!—have your mouth filled up
132 Before you open it.
133 ANNE.
134 This is strange to me.
135 OLD LADY.
136 How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
137 There was a lady once—’tis an old story—
138 That would not be a queen, that would she not,
139 For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
140 ANNE.
141 Come, you are pleasant.
142 OLD LADY.
143 With your theme, I could
144 O’ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke?
145 A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
146 No other obligation? By my life,
147 That promises more thousands; honour’s train
148 Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time
149 I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
150 Are you not stronger than you were?
151 ANNE.
152 Good lady,
153 Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy,
154 And leave me out on’t. Would I had no being
155 If this salute my blood a jot. It faints me
156 To think what follows.
157 The Queen is comfortless, and we forgetful
158 In our long absence. Pray do not deliver
159 What here you’ve heard to her.
160 OLD LADY.
161 What do you think me?
162 [_Exeunt._]