Love’s Labour’s Lost

1 Enter Berowne with a paper in his hand, alone.
2 BEROWNE.
3 The King, he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself. They have
4 pitched a toil; I am toiling in a pitch, pitch that defiles. Defile! A
5 foul word! Well, set thee down, sorrow, for so they say the fool said,
6 and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the Lord, this love
7 is as mad as Ajax. It kills sheep, it kills me, I a sheep. Well proved
8 again, o’ my side! I will not love; if I do, hang me! I’ faith, I will
9 not. O, but her eye! By this light, but for her eye, I would not love
10 her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie,
11 and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love, and it hath taught me to
12 rhyme, and to be melancholy. And here is part of my rhyme, and here my
13 melancholy. Well, she hath one o’ my sonnets already. The clown bore
14 it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it. Sweet clown, sweeter fool,
15 sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin if the other three
16 were in. Here comes one with a paper. God give him grace to groan!
17 [_He stands aside._]
18 Enter the King with a paper.
19 KING.
20 Ay me!
21 BEROWNE.
22 [_Aside_.] Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid, thou hast thumped him
23 with thy birdbolt under the left pap. In faith, secrets!
24 KING.
25 [_Reads_.] [_So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not
26 To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,
27 As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote
28 The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows.
29 Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright
30 Through the transparent bosom of the deep
31 As doth thy face, through tears of mine give light.
32 Thou shin’st in every tear that I do weep.
33 No drop but as a coach doth carry thee;
34 So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.
35 Do but behold the tears that swell in me,
36 And they thy glory through my grief will show.
37 But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep
38 My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.
39 O queen of queens, how far dost thou excel
40 No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell._
41 How shall she know my griefs? I’ll drop the paper.
42 Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?
43 [_Steps aside._]
44 What, Longaville, and reading! Listen, ear.
45 Enter Longaville with a paper.
46 BEROWNE.
47 [_Aside_.] Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!
48 LONGAVILLE.
49 Ay me! I am forsworn.
50 BEROWNE.
51 Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.
52 KING.
53 In love, I hope. Sweet fellowship in shame.
54 BEROWNE.
55 One drunkard loves another of the name.
56 LONGAVILLE.
57 Am I the first that have been perjured so?
58 BEROWNE.
59 I could put thee in comfort: not by two that I know.
60 Thou makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society,
61 The shape of love’s Tyburn, that hangs up simplicity.
62 LONGAVILLE.
63 I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move.
64 O sweet Maria, empress of my love,
65 These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.
66 BEROWNE.
67 O, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid’s hose.
68 Disfigure not his shop.
69 LONGAVILLE.
70 This same shall go.
71 [_He reads the sonnet._]
72 _Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye,
73 ’Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,
74 Persuade my heart to this false perjury?
75 Vows for thee broke deserve not punishment.
76 A woman I forswore, but I will prove,
77 Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee.
78 My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;
79 Thy grace being gained, cures all disgrace in me.
80 Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is.
81 Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine,
82 Exhal’st this vapour-vow; in thee it is.
83 If broken then, it is no fault of mine;
84 If by me broke, what fool is not so wise
85 To lose an oath to win a paradise?_
86 BEROWNE.
87 This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity,
88 A green goose a goddess. Pure, pure idolatry.
89 God amend us, God amend! We are much out o’ th’ way.
90 LONGAVILLE.
91 By whom shall I send this?—Company! Stay.
92 [_He steps aside._]
93 Enter Dumaine with a paper.
94 BEROWNE.
95 All hid, all hid, an old infant play.
96 Like a demigod here sit I in the sky,
97 And wretched fools’ secrets heedfully o’er-eye.
98 More sacks to the mill. O heavens, I have my wish.
99 Dumaine transformed! Four woodcocks in a dish!
100 DUMAINE.
101 O most divine Kate!
102 BEROWNE.
103 O most profane coxcomb!
104 DUMAINE.
105 By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!
106 BEROWNE.
107 By earth, she is but corporal. There you lie.
108 DUMAINE.
109 Her amber hairs for foul hath amber quoted.
110 BEROWNE.
111 An amber-coloured raven was well noted.
112 DUMAINE.
113 As upright as the cedar.
114 BEROWNE.
115 Stoop, I say.
116 Her shoulder is with child.
117 DUMAINE.
118 As fair as day.
119 BEROWNE.
120 Ay, as some days, but then no sun must shine.
121 DUMAINE.
122 O, that I had my wish!
123 LONGAVILLE.
124 And I had mine!
125 KING.
126 And I mine too, good Lord!
127 BEROWNE.
128 Amen, so I had mine. Is not that a good word?
129 DUMAINE.
130 I would forget her; but a fever she
131 Reigns in my blood, and will remembered be.
132 BEROWNE.
133 A fever in your blood? Why, then incision
134 Would let her out in saucers. Sweet misprision!
135 DUMAINE.
136 Once more I’ll read the ode that I have writ.
137 BEROWNE.
138 Once more I’ll mark how love can vary wit.
139 DUMAINE.
140 [_Dumaine reads his sonnet_.]
141 _On a day—alack the day!—
142 Love, whose month is ever May,
143 Spied a blossom passing fair
144 Playing in the wanton air.
145 Through the velvet leaves the wind,
146 All unseen, can passage find;
147 That the lover, sick to death,
148 Wished himself the heaven’s breath.
149 “Air,” quoth he, “thy cheeks may blow;
150 Air, would I might triumph so!”
151 But, alack, my hand is sworn
152 Ne’er to pluck thee from thy thorn.
153 Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,
154 Youth so apt to pluck a sweet.
155 Do not call it sin in me,
156 That I am forsworn for thee;
157 Thou for whom Jove would swear
158 Juno but an Ethiope were,
159 And deny himself for Jove,
160 Turning mortal for thy love._
161 This will I send, and something else more plain,
162 That shall express my true love’s fasting pain.
163 O, would the King, Berowne and Longaville
164 Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,
165 Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note,
166 For none offend where all alike do dote.
167 LONGAVILLE.
168 [_Comes forward_.] Dumaine, thy love is far from charity,
169 That in love’s grief desir’st society.
170 You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,
171 To be o’erheard and taken napping so.
172 KING.
173 [_Comes forward_.] Come, sir, you blush. As his, your case is such.
174 You chide at him, offending twice as much.
175 You do not love Maria? Longaville
176 Did never sonnet for her sake compile,
177 Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart
178 His loving bosom to keep down his heart.
179 I have been closely shrouded in this bush,
180 And marked you both, and for you both did blush.
181 I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,
182 Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion.
183 “Ay, me!” says one. “O Jove!” the other cries.
184 One, her hairs were gold; crystal the other’s eyes.
185 [_To Longaville_.] You would for paradise break faith and troth;
186 [_To Dumaine_.] And Jove, for your love would infringe an oath.
187 What will Berowne say when that he shall hear
188 Faith infringed which such zeal did swear?
189 How will he scorn, how will he spend his wit!
190 How will he triumph, leap, and laugh at it!
191 For all the wealth that ever I did see,
192 I would not have him know so much by me.
193 BEROWNE.
194 [_Comes forward_.]
195 Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.
196 Ah, good my liege, I pray thee pardon me.
197 Good heart, what grace hast thou thus to reprove
198 These worms for loving, that art most in love?
199 Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears
200 There is no certain princess that appears.
201 You’ll not be perjured, ’tis a hateful thing:
202 Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!
203 But are you not ashamed? Nay, are you not,
204 All three of you, to be thus much o’ershot?
205 You found his mote, the King your mote did see;
206 But I a beam do find in each of three.
207 O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,
208 Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow, and of teen!
209 O me, with what strict patience have I sat,
210 To see a king transformed to a gnat!
211 To see great Hercules whipping a gig,
212 And profound Solomon to tune a jig,
213 And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,
214 And critic Timon laugh at idle toys.
215 Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumaine?
216 And, gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?
217 And where my liege’s? All about the breast?
218 A caudle, ho!
219 KING.
220 Too bitter is thy jest.
221 Are we betrayed thus to thy over-view?
222 BEROWNE.
223 Not you to me, but I betrayed by you.
224 I that am honest, I that hold it sin
225 To break the vow I am engaged in.
226 I am betrayed by keeping company
227 With men like you, men of inconstancy.
228 When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?
229 Or groan for Joan? Or spend a minute’s time
230 In pruning me? When shall you hear that I
231 Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,
232 A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,
233 A leg, a limb—
234 KING.
235 Soft! Whither away so fast?
236 A true man, or a thief, that gallops so?
237 BEROWNE.
238 I post from love. Good lover, let me go.
239 Enter Jaquenetta, with a letter, and Costard.
240 JAQUENETTA.
241 God bless the King!
242 KING.
243 What present hast thou there?
244 COSTARD.
245 Some certain treason.
246 KING.
247 What makes treason here?
248 COSTARD.
249 Nay, it makes nothing, sir.
250 KING.
251 If it mar nothing neither,
252 The treason and you go in peace away together.
253 JAQUENETTA.
254 I beseech your Grace, let this letter be read.
255 Our person misdoubts it; ’twas treason, he said.
256 KING.
257 Berowne, read it over.
258 [_Berowne reads the letter._]
259 Where hadst thou it?
260 JAQUENETTA.
261 Of Costard.
262 KING.
263 Where hadst thou it?
264 COSTARD.
265 Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
266 [_Berowne tears the letter._]
267 KING.
268 How now, what is in you? Why dost thou tear it?
269 BEROWNE.
270 A toy, my liege, a toy. Your Grace needs not fear it.
271 LONGAVILLE.
272 It did move him to passion, and therefore let’s hear it.
273 DUMAINE.
274 [_Picking up the pieces_.]
275 It is Berowne’s writing, and here is his name.
276 BEROWNE.
277 [_To Costard_.] Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, you were born to do me
278 shame.
279 Guilty, my lord, guilty. I confess, I confess.
280 KING.
281 What?
282 BEROWNE.
283 That you three fools lacked me fool to make up the mess.
284 He, he, and you—and you, my liege—and I
285 Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.
286 O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.
287 DUMAINE.
288 Now the number is even.
289 BEROWNE.
290 True, true, we are four.
291 Will these turtles be gone?
292 KING.
293 Hence, sirs, away!
294 COSTARD.
295 Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
296 [_Exeunt Costard and Jaquenetta._]
297 BEROWNE.
298 Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!
299 As true we are as flesh and blood can be.
300 The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;
301 Young blood doth not obey an old decree.
302 We cannot cross the cause why we were born;
303 Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
304 KING.
305 What, did these rent lines show some love of thine?
306 BEROWNE.
307 “Did they?” quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline
308 That, like a rude and savage man of Ind,
309 At the first op’ning of the gorgeous east,
310 Bows not his vassal head and, strucken blind,
311 Kisses the base ground with obedient breast?
312 What peremptory eagle-sighted eye
313 Dares look upon the heaven of her brow
314 That is not blinded by her majesty?
315 KING.
316 What zeal, what fury hath inspired thee now?
317 My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon;
318 She, an attending star, scarce seen a light.
319 BEROWNE.
320 My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Berowne.
321 O, but for my love, day would turn to night!
322 Of all complexions the culled sovereignty
323 Do meet as at a fair in her fair cheek,
324 Where several worthies make one dignity,
325 Where nothing wants that want itself doth seek.
326 Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues—
327 Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not.
328 To things of sale a seller’s praise belongs.
329 She passes praise; then praise too short doth blot.
330 A withered hermit, five-score winters worn,
331 Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye.
332 Beauty doth varnish age, as if new born,
333 And gives the crutch the cradle’s infancy.
334 O, ’tis the sun that maketh all things shine!
335 KING.
336 By heaven, thy love is black as ebony.
337 BEROWNE.
338 Is ebony like her? O word divine!
339 A wife of such wood were felicity.
340 O, who can give an oath? Where is a book?
341 That I may swear beauty doth beauty lack
342 If that she learn not of her eye to look.
343 No face is fair that is not full so black.
344 KING.
345 O paradox! Black is the badge of hell,
346 The hue of dungeons and the school of night;
347 And beauty’s crest becomes the heavens well.
348 BEROWNE.
349 Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.
350 O, if in black my lady’s brows be decked,
351 It mourns that painting and usurping hair
352 Should ravish doters with a false aspect;
353 And therefore is she born to make black fair.
354 Her favour turns the fashion of the days,
355 For native blood is counted painting now;
356 And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise,
357 Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.
358 DUMAINE.
359 To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
360 LONGAVILLE.
361 And since her time are colliers counted bright.
362 KING.
363 And Ethiopes of their sweet complexion crack.
364 DUMAINE.
365 Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.
366 BEROWNE.
367 Your mistresses dare never come in rain,
368 For fear their colours should be washed away.
369 KING.
370 ’Twere good yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,
371 I’ll find a fairer face not washed today.
372 BEROWNE.
373 I’ll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
374 KING.
375 No devil will fright thee then so much as she.
376 DUMAINE.
377 I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
378 LONGAVILLE.
379 [_Showing his shoe_.]
380 Look, here’s thy love, my foot and her face see.
381 BEROWNE.
382 O, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
383 Her feet were much too dainty for such tread.
384 DUMAINE.
385 O vile! Then, as she goes, what upward lies
386 The street should see as she walked over head.
387 KING.
388 But what of this? Are we not all in love?
389 BEROWNE.
390 Nothing so sure, and thereby all forsworn.
391 KING.
392 Then leave this chat, and, good Berowne, now prove
393 Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
394 DUMAINE.
395 Ay, marry, there; some flattery for this evil.
396 LONGAVILLE.
397 O, some authority how to proceed.
398 Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
399 DUMAINE.
400 Some salve for perjury.
401 BEROWNE.
402 O, ’tis more than need.
403 Have at you, then, affection’s men-at-arms.
404 Consider what you first did swear unto:
405 To fast, to study, and to see no woman—
406 Flat treason ’gainst the kingly state of youth.
407 Say, can you fast? Your stomachs are too young,
408 And abstinence engenders maladies.
409 O, we have made a vow to study, lords,
410 And in that vow we have forsworn our books;
411 For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,
412 In leaden contemplation have found out
413 Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes
414 Of beauty’s tutors have enriched you with?
415 Other slow arts entirely keep the brain,
416 And therefore, finding barren practisers,
417 Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil;
418 But love, first learned in a lady’s eyes,
419 Lives not alone immured in the brain,
420 But with the motion of all elements
421 Courses as swift as thought in every power,
422 And gives to every power a double power,
423 Above their functions and their offices.
424 It adds a precious seeing to the eye.
425 A lover’s eyes will gaze an eagle blind.
426 A lover’s ear will hear the lowest sound,
427 When the suspicious head of theft is stopped.
428 Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible
429 Than are the tender horns of cockled snails.
430 Love’s tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste.
431 For valour, is not Love a Hercules,
432 Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?
433 Subtle as Sphinx, as sweet and musical
434 As bright Apollo’s lute, strung with his hair.
435 And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
436 Make heaven drowsy with the harmony.
437 Never durst poet touch a pen to write
438 Until his ink were tempered with Love’s sighs.
439 O, then his lines would ravish savage ears
440 And plant in tyrants mild humility.
441 From women’s eyes this doctrine I derive.
442 They sparkle still the right Promethean fire;
443 They are the books, the arts, the academes,
444 That show, contain, and nourish, all the world;
445 Else none at all in aught proves excellent.
446 Then fools you were these women to forswear,
447 Or, keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools.
448 For wisdom’s sake, a word that all men love,
449 Or for love’s sake, a word that loves all men,
450 Or for men’s sake, the authors of these women,
451 Or women’s sake, by whom we men are men,
452 Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,
453 Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.
454 It is religion to be thus forsworn,
455 For charity itself fulfils the law,
456 And who can sever love from charity?
457 KING.
458 Saint Cupid, then, and, soldiers, to the field!
459 BEROWNE.
460 Advance your standards, and upon them, lords!
461 Pell-mell, down with them! But be first advised
462 In conflict that you get the sun of them.
463 LONGAVILLE.
464 Now to plain dealing. Lay these glozes by.
465 Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
466 KING.
467 And win them too. Therefore let us devise
468 Some entertainment for them in their tents.
469 BEROWNE.
470 First, from the park let us conduct them thither.
471 Then homeward every man attach the hand
472 Of his fair mistress. In the afternoon
473 We will with some strange pastime solace them,
474 Such as the shortness of the time can shape;
475 For revels, dances, masques, and merry hours
476 Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
477 KING.
478 Away, away! No time shall be omitted
479 That will betime and may by us be fitted.
480 BEROWNE.
481 _Allons! allons!_ Sowed cockle reaped no corn,
482 And justice always whirls in equal measure.
483 Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn;
484 If so, our copper buys no better treasure.
485 [_Exeunt._]