Love’s Labour’s Lost

1 Enter the Princess, Rosaline, Katharine and Maria.
2 PRINCESS.
3 Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
4 If fairings come thus plentifully in.
5 A lady walled about with diamonds!
6 Look you what I have from the loving King.
7 ROSALINE.
8 Madam, came nothing else along with that?
9 PRINCESS.
10 Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
11 As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
12 Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,
13 That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.
14 ROSALINE.
15 That was the way to make his godhead wax,
16 For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
17 KATHARINE.
18 Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
19 ROSALINE.
20 You’ll ne’er be friends with him. He killed your sister.
21 KATHARINE.
22 He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
23 And so she died. Had she been light, like you,
24 Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
25 She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died.
26 And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
27 ROSALINE.
28 What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?
29 KATHARINE.
30 A light condition in a beauty dark.
31 ROSALINE.
32 We need more light to find your meaning out.
33 KATHARINE.
34 You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
35 Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.
36 ROSALINE.
37 Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.
38 KATHARINE.
39 So do not you, for you are a light wench.
40 ROSALINE.
41 Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light.
42 KATHARINE.
43 You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.
44 ROSALINE.
45 Great reason, for past cure is still past care.
46 PRINCESS.
47 Well bandied both; a set of wit well played.
48 But, Rosaline, you have a favour too.
49 Who sent it? And what is it?
50 ROSALINE.
51 I would you knew.
52 An if my face were but as fair as yours,
53 My favour were as great. Be witness this.
54 Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
55 The numbers true, and, were the numbering too,
56 I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
57 I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
58 O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.
59 PRINCESS.
60 Anything like?
61 ROSALINE.
62 Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
63 PRINCESS.
64 Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
65 KATHARINE.
66 Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
67 ROSALINE.
68 ’Ware pencils, how! Let me not die your debtor,
69 My red dominical, my golden letter.
70 O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
71 PRINCESS.
72 A pox of that jest! And beshrew all shrews.
73 But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine?
74 KATHARINE.
75 Madam, this glove.
76 PRINCESS.
77 Did he not send you twain?
78 KATHARINE.
79 Yes, madam, and moreover,
80 Some thousand verses of a faithful lover.
81 A huge translation of hypocrisy,
82 Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
83 MARIA.
84 This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.
85 The letter is too long by half a mile.
86 PRINCESS.
87 I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
88 The chain were longer and the letter short?
89 MARIA.
90 Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
91 PRINCESS.
92 We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
93 ROSALINE.
94 They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
95 That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.
96 O that I knew he were but in by th’ week!
97 How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
98 And wait the season, and observe the times,
99 And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
100 And shape his service wholly to my hests,
101 And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
102 So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,
103 That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
104 PRINCESS.
105 None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
106 As wit turned fool. Folly, in wisdom hatched,
107 Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school
108 And wit’s own grace to grace a learned fool.
109 ROSALINE.
110 The blood of youth burns not with such excess
111 As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
112 MARIA.
113 Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
114 As fool’ry in the wise when wit doth dote,
115 Since all the power thereof it doth apply
116 To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
117 Enter Boyet.
118 PRINCESS.
119 Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
120 BOYET.
121 O, I am stabbed with laughter! Where’s her Grace?
122 PRINCESS.
123 Thy news, Boyet?
124 BOYET.
125 Prepare, madam, prepare!
126 Arm, wenches, arm! Encounters mounted are
127 Against your peace. Love doth approach disguised,
128 Armed in arguments. You’ll be surprised.
129 Muster your wits, stand in your own defence,
130 Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
131 PRINCESS.
132 Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
133 That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.
134 BOYET.
135 Under the cool shade of a sycamore
136 I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour,
137 When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
138 Toward that shade I might behold addressed
139 The King and his companions. Warily
140 I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
141 And overheard what you shall overhear:
142 That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
143 Their herald is a pretty knavish page
144 That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
145 Action and accent did they teach him there:
146 “Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear.”
147 And ever and anon they made a doubt
148 Presence majestical would put him out;
149 “For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;
150 Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.”
151 The boy replied “An angel is not evil;
152 I should have feared her had she been a devil.”
153 With that all laughed and clapped him on the shoulder,
154 Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
155 One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
156 A better speech was never spoke before.
157 Another with his finger and his thumb
158 Cried “_Via_, we will do ’t, come what will come.”
159 The third he capered, and cried “All goes well!”
160 The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
161 With that they all did tumble on the ground,
162 With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
163 That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
164 To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
165 PRINCESS.
166 But what, but what, come they to visit us?
167 BOYET.
168 They do, they do, and are apparelled thus,
169 Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
170 Their purpose is to parley, court, and dance,
171 And every one his love-feat will advance
172 Unto his several mistress, which they’ll know
173 By favours several which they did bestow.
174 PRINCESS.
175 And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked;
176 For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
177 And not a man of them shall have the grace,
178 Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
179 Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
180 And then the King will court thee for his dear.
181 Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
182 So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
183 And change you favours too; so shall your loves
184 Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
185 ROSALINE.
186 Come on, then, wear the favours most in sight.
187 KATHARINE.
188 But in this changing, what is your intent?
189 PRINCESS.
190 The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
191 They do it but in mocking merriment,
192 And mock for mock is only my intent.
193 Their several counsels they unbosom shall
194 To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
195 Upon the next occasion that we meet,
196 With visages displayed to talk and greet.
197 ROSALINE.
198 But shall we dance, if they desire us to’t?
199 PRINCESS.
200 No, to the death we will not move a foot,
201 Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
202 But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
203 BOYET.
204 Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,
205 And quite divorce his memory from his part.
206 PRINCESS.
207 Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt
208 The rest will ne’er come in, if he be out.
209 There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
210 To make theirs ours and ours none but our own.
211 So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
212 And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
213 [_Sound trumpet, within._]
214 BOYET.
215 The trumpet sounds. Be masked; the maskers come.
216 [_The Ladies mask._]
217 Enter Blackamoors with music, Moth, with a speech, the King, Berowne,
218 Longaville and Dumaine disguised.
219 MOTH.
220 _All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!_
221 BOYET.
222 Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
223 MOTH.
224 _A holy parcel of the fairest dames_
225 [_The Ladies turn their backs to him._]
226 _That ever turned their_—backs—_to mortal views!_
227 BEROWNE.
228 _Their eyes_, villain, _their eyes._
229 MOTH.
230 _That ever turned their eyes to mortal views.
231 Out_—
232 BOYET.
233 True; out indeed.
234 MOTH.
235 _Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
236 Not to behold_—
237 BEROWNE.
238 _Once to behold_, rogue!
239 MOTH.
240 _Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes—
241 With your sun-beamed eyes_—
242 BOYET.
243 They will not answer to that epithet.
244 You were best call it “daughter-beamed eyes”.
245 MOTH.
246 They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
247 BEROWNE.
248 Is this your perfectness? Be gone, you rogue!
249 [_Exit Moth._]
250 ROSALINE.
251 What would these strangers? Know their minds, Boyet.
252 If they do speak our language, ’tis our will
253 That some plain man recount their purposes.
254 Know what they would.
255 BOYET.
256 What would you with the Princess?
257 BEROWNE.
258 Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
259 ROSALINE.
260 What would they, say they?
261 BOYET.
262 Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
263 ROSALINE.
264 Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.
265 BOYET.
266 She says you have it, and you may be gone.
267 KING.
268 Say to her we have measured many miles
269 To tread a measure with her on this grass.
270 BOYET.
271 They say that they have measured many a mile
272 To tread a measure with you on this grass.
273 ROSALINE.
274 It is not so. Ask them how many inches
275 Is in one mile? If they have measured many,
276 The measure then of one is easily told.
277 BOYET.
278 If to come hither you have measured miles,
279 And many miles, the Princess bids you tell
280 How many inches doth fill up one mile.
281 BEROWNE.
282 Tell her we measure them by weary steps.
283 BOYET.
284 She hears herself.
285 ROSALINE.
286 How many weary steps
287 Of many weary miles you have o’ergone
288 Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
289 BEROWNE.
290 We number nothing that we spend for you.
291 Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
292 That we may do it still without account.
293 Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
294 That we, like savages, may worship it.
295 ROSALINE.
296 My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
297 KING.
298 Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
299 Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
300 Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
301 ROSALINE.
302 O vain petitioner! Beg a greater matter!
303 Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.
304 KING.
305 Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
306 Thou bidd’st me beg; this begging is not strange.
307 ROSALINE.
308 Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.
309 [_Music plays._]
310 Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.
311 KING.
312 Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
313 ROSALINE.
314 You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.
315 KING.
316 Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
317 The music plays, vouchsafe some motion to it.
318 ROSALINE.
319 Our ears vouchsafe it.
320 KING.
321 But your legs should do it.
322 ROSALINE.
323 Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
324 We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.
325 KING.
326 Why take we hands then?
327 ROSALINE.
328 Only to part friends.
329 Curtsy, sweet hearts, and so the measure ends.
330 KING.
331 More measure of this measure! Be not nice.
332 ROSALINE.
333 We can afford no more at such a price.
334 KING.
335 Price you yourselves? What buys your company?
336 ROSALINE.
337 Your absence only.
338 KING.
339 That can never be.
340 ROSALINE.
341 Then cannot we be bought. And so adieu—
342 Twice to your visor, and half once to you!
343 KING.
344 If you deny to dance, let’s hold more chat.
345 ROSALINE.
346 In private then.
347 KING.
348 I am best pleased with that.
349 [_They converse apart._]
350 BEROWNE.
351 White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
352 PRINCESS.
353 Honey, and milk, and sugar: there is three.
354 BEROWNE.
355 Nay, then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,
356 Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. Well run, dice!
357 There’s half a dozen sweets.
358 PRINCESS.
359 Seventh sweet, adieu.
360 Since you can cog, I’ll play no more with you.
361 BEROWNE.
362 One word in secret.
363 PRINCESS.
364 Let it not be sweet.
365 BEROWNE.
366 Thou griev’st my gall.
367 PRINCESS.
368 Gall! Bitter.
369 BEROWNE.
370 Therefore meet.
371 [_They converse apart._]
372 DUMAINE.
373 Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
374 MARIA.
375 Name it.
376 DUMAINE.
377 Fair lady—
378 MARIA.
379 Say you so? Fair lord!
380 Take that for your “fair lady”.
381 DUMAINE.
382 Please it you,
383 As much in private, and I’ll bid adieu.
384 [_They converse apart._]
385 KATHARINE.
386 What, was your visor made without a tongue?
387 LONGAVILLE.
388 I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
389 KATHARINE.
390 O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.
391 LONGAVILLE.
392 You have a double tongue within your mask,
393 And would afford my speechless visor half.
394 KATHARINE.
395 “Veal”, quoth the Dutchman. Is not veal a calf?
396 LONGAVILLE.
397 A calf, fair lady?
398 KATHARINE.
399 No, a fair lord calf.
400 LONGAVILLE.
401 Let’s part the word.
402 KATHARINE.
403 No, I’ll not be your half.
404 Take all and wean it; it may prove an ox.
405 LONGAVILLE.
406 Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.
407 Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.
408 KATHARINE.
409 Then die a calf before your horns do grow.
410 LONGAVILLE.
411 One word in private with you ere I die.
412 KATHARINE.
413 Bleat softly, then; the butcher hears you cry.
414 [_They converse apart._]
415 BOYET.
416 The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
417 As is the razor’s edge invisible,
418 Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;
419 Above the sense of sense, so sensible
420 Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have wings
421 Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
422 ROSALINE.
423 Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
424 BEROWNE.
425 By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
426 KING.
427 Farewell, mad wenches. You have simple wits.
428 [_Exeunt King, Lords and Blackamoors._]
429 PRINCESS.
430 Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites.
431 Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?
432 BOYET.
433 Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed out.
434 ROSALINE.
435 Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
436 PRINCESS.
437 O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
438 Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
439 Or ever but in vizors show their faces?
440 This pert Berowne was out of countenance quite.
441 ROSALINE.
442 They were all in lamentable cases.
443 The King was weeping-ripe for a good word.
444 PRINCESS.
445 Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.
446 MARIA.
447 Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.
448 “_Non point_,” quoth I; my servant straight was mute.
449 KATHARINE.
450 Lord Longaville said I came o’er his heart;
451 And trow you what he called me?
452 PRINCESS.
453 Qualm, perhaps.
454 KATHARINE.
455 Yes, in good faith.
456 PRINCESS.
457 Go, sickness as thou art!
458 ROSALINE.
459 Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
460 But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.
461 PRINCESS.
462 And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.
463 KATHARINE.
464 And Longaville was for my service born.
465 MARIA.
466 Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.
467 BOYET.
468 Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear.
469 Immediately they will again be here
470 In their own shapes, for it can never be
471 They will digest this harsh indignity.
472 PRINCESS.
473 Will they return?
474 BOYET.
475 They will, they will, God knows,
476 And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.
477 Therefore, change favours and, when they repair,
478 Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
479 PRINCESS.
480 How “blow”? How “blow”? Speak to be understood.
481 BOYET.
482 Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud.
483 Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,
484 Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
485 PRINCESS.
486 Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do
487 If they return in their own shapes to woo?
488 ROSALINE.
489 Good madam, if by me you’ll be advised,
490 Let’s mock them still, as well known as disguised.
491 Let us complain to them what fools were here,
492 Disguised like Muscovites in shapeless gear;
493 And wonder what they were, and to what end
494 Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,
495 And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
496 Should be presented at our tent to us.
497 BOYET.
498 Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.
499 PRINCESS.
500 Whip to our tents, as roes run o’er the land.
501 [_Exeunt Princess, Rosaline, Katharine and Maria._]
502 Enter the King, Berowne, Longaville and Dumaine as themselves.
503 KING.
504 Fair sir, God save you. Where’s the Princess?
505 BOYET.
506 Gone to her tent. Please it your Majesty
507 Command me any service to her thither?
508 KING.
509 That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
510 BOYET.
511 I will; and so will she, I know, my lord.
512 [_Exit._]
513 BEROWNE.
514 This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons peas
515 And utters it again when God doth please.
516 He is wit’s pedlar, and retails his wares
517 At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;
518 And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
519 Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
520 This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve.
521 Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.
522 He can carve too, and lisp. Why, this is he
523 That kissed his hand away in courtesy.
524 This is the ape of form, Monsieur the Nice,
525 That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
526 In honourable terms. Nay, he can sing
527 A mean most meanly; and in ushering
528 Mend him who can. The ladies call him sweet.
529 The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet.
530 This is the flower that smiles on everyone,
531 To show his teeth as white as whale’s bone;
532 And consciences that will not die in debt
533 Pay him the due of “honey-tongued Boyet”.
534 KING.
535 A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
536 That put Armado’s page out of his part!
537 Enter the Princess, Rosaline, Maria, Katharine with Boyet.
538 BEROWNE.
539 See where it comes! Behaviour, what wert thou
540 Till this man showed thee, and what art thou now?
541 KING.
542 All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day.
543 PRINCESS.
544 “Fair” in “all hail” is foul, as I conceive.
545 KING.
546 Construe my speeches better, if you may.
547 PRINCESS.
548 Then wish me better. I will give you leave.
549 KING.
550 We came to visit you, and purpose now
551 To lead you to our court. Vouchsafe it then.
552 PRINCESS.
553 This field shall hold me, and so hold your vow.
554 Nor God nor I delights in perjured men.
555 KING.
556 Rebuke me not for that which you provoke.
557 The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
558 PRINCESS.
559 You nickname virtue: “vice” you should have spoke;
560 For virtue’s office never breaks men’s troth.
561 Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure
562 As the unsullied lily, I protest,
563 A world of torments though I should endure,
564 I would not yield to be your house’s guest,
565 So much I hate a breaking cause to be
566 Of heavenly oaths, vowed with integrity.
567 KING.
568 O, you have lived in desolation here,
569 Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
570 PRINCESS.
571 Not so, my lord. It is not so, I swear.
572 We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.
573 A mess of Russians left us but of late.
574 KING.
575 How, madam? Russians?
576 PRINCESS.
577 Ay, in truth, my lord.
578 Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
579 ROSALINE.
580 Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord.
581 My lady, to the manner of the days,
582 In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
583 We four indeed confronted were with four
584 In Russian habit. Here they stayed an hour
585 And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord,
586 They did not bless us with one happy word.
587 I dare not call them fools; but this I think,
588 When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
589 BEROWNE.
590 This jest is dry to me. My gentle sweet,
591 Your wit makes wise things foolish. When we greet,
592 With eyes’ best seeing, heaven’s fiery eye,
593 By light we lose light. Your capacity
594 Is of that nature that to your huge store
595 Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
596 ROSALINE.
597 This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye—
598 BEROWNE.
599 I am a fool, and full of poverty.
600 ROSALINE.
601 But that you take what doth to you belong,
602 It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
603 BEROWNE.
604 O, I am yours, and all that I possess.
605 ROSALINE.
606 All the fool mine?
607 BEROWNE.
608 I cannot give you less.
609 ROSALINE.
610 Which of the visors was it that you wore?
611 BEROWNE.
612 Where, when, what visor? Why demand you this?
613 ROSALINE.
614 There, then, that visor; that superfluous case
615 That hid the worse and showed the better face.
616 KING.
617 We are descried. They’ll mock us now downright.
618 DUMAINE.
619 Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
620 PRINCESS.
621 Amazed, my lord? Why looks your Highness sad?
622 ROSALINE.
623 Help! Hold his brows! He’ll swoon. Why look you pale?
624 Seasick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
625 BEROWNE.
626 Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
627 Can any face of brass hold longer out?
628 Here stand I, lady; dart thy skill at me.
629 Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout,
630 Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance,
631 Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit,
632 And I will wish thee never more to dance,
633 Nor never more in Russian habit wait.
634 O, never will I trust to speeches penned,
635 Nor to the motion of a school-boy’s tongue,
636 Nor never come in visor to my friend,
637 Nor woo in rhyme like a blind harper’s song.
638 Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
639 Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
640 Figures pedantical: these summer flies
641 Have blown me full of maggot ostentation.
642 I do forswear them, and I here protest,
643 By this white glove—how white the hand, God knows!—
644 Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed
645 In russet yeas and honest kersey noes.
646 And, to begin: wench, so God help me, law,
647 My love to thee is sound, _sans_ crack or flaw.
648 ROSALINE.
649 _Sans_ “_sans_,” I pray you.
650 BEROWNE.
651 Yet I have a trick
652 Of the old rage. Bear with me, I am sick;
653 I’ll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
654 Write “Lord have mercy on us” on those three.
655 They are infected; in their hearts it lies;
656 They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes.
657 These lords are visited. You are not free,
658 For the Lord’s tokens on you do I see.
659 PRINCESS.
660 No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
661 BEROWNE.
662 Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.
663 ROSALINE.
664 It is not so. For how can this be true,
665 That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
666 BEROWNE.
667 Peace! for I will not have to do with you.
668 ROSALINE.
669 Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
670 BEROWNE.
671 Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.
672 KING.
673 Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
674 Some fair excuse.
675 PRINCESS.
676 The fairest is confession.
677 Were not you here but even now, disguised?
678 KING.
679 Madam, I was.
680 PRINCESS.
681 And were you well advised?
682 KING.
683 I was, fair madam.
684 PRINCESS.
685 When you then were here,
686 What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?
687 KING.
688 That more than all the world I did respect her.
689 PRINCESS.
690 When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
691 KING.
692 Upon mine honour, no.
693 PRINCESS.
694 Peace, peace, forbear!
695 Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
696 KING.
697 Despise me when I break this oath of mine.
698 PRINCESS.
699 I will; and therefore keep it. Rosaline,
700 What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
701 ROSALINE.
702 Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
703 As precious eyesight, and did value me
704 Above this world; adding thereto, moreover,
705 That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
706 PRINCESS.
707 God give thee joy of him! The noble lord
708 Most honourably doth uphold his word.
709 KING.
710 What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,
711 I never swore this lady such an oath.
712 ROSALINE.
713 By heaven, you did! And to confirm it plain,
714 You gave me this. But take it, sir, again.
715 KING.
716 My faith and this the Princess I did give.
717 I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
718 PRINCESS.
719 Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear,
720 And Lord Berowne, I thank him, is my dear.
721 What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
722 BEROWNE.
723 Neither of either; I remit both twain.
724 I see the trick on’t. Here was a consent,
725 Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
726 To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
727 Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
728 Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick,
729 That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
730 To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
731 Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
732 The ladies did change favours, and then we,
733 Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
734 Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
735 We are again forsworn in will and error.
736 Much upon this ’tis. [_To Boyet_.] And might not you
737 Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
738 Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ squier,
739 And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
740 And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
741 Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
742 You put our page out. Go, you are allowed;
743 Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
744 You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
745 Wounds like a leaden sword.
746 BOYET.
747 Full merrily
748 Hath this brave manage, this career, been run.
749 BEROWNE.
750 Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.
751 Enter Costard.
752 Welcome, pure wit! Thou part’st a fair fray.
753 COSTARD.
754 O Lord, sir, they would know
755 Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
756 BEROWNE.
757 What, are there but three?
758 COSTARD.
759 No, sir; but it is vara fine,
760 For every one pursents three.
761 BEROWNE.
762 And three times thrice is nine.
763 COSTARD.
764 Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.
765 You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we know what we know.
766 I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
767 BEROWNE.
768 Is not nine?
769 COSTARD.
770 Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.
771 BEROWNE.
772 By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
773 COSTARD.
774 O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living by reckoning, sir.
775 BEROWNE.
776 How much is it?
777 COSTARD.
778 O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors, sir, will show
779 whereuntil it doth amount. For mine own part, I am, as they say, but to
780 parfect one man in one poor man—Pompion the Great, sir.
781 BEROWNE.
782 Art thou one of the Worthies?
783 COSTARD.
784 It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey the Great. For mine own
785 part, I know not the degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
786 BEROWNE.
787 Go bid them prepare.
788 COSTARD.
789 We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take some care.
790 [_Exit Costard._]
791 KING.
792 Berowne, they will shame us. Let them not approach.
793 BEROWNE.
794 We are shame-proof, my lord, and ’tis some policy
795 To have one show worse than the King’s and his company.
796 KING.
797 I say they shall not come.
798 PRINCESS.
799 Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.
800 That sport best pleases that doth least know how,
801 Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
802 Die in the zeal of that which it presents;
803 Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
804 When great things labouring perish in their birth.
805 BEROWNE.
806 A right description of our sport, my lord.
807 Enter Armado, the Braggart.
808 ARMADO.
809 Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet breath as will
810 utter a brace of words.
811 [_Armado and King talk apart._]
812 PRINCESS.
813 Doth this man serve God?
814 BEROWNE.
815 Why ask you?
816 PRINCESS.
817 He speaks not like a man of God his making.
818 ARMADO.
819 That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for, I protest, the
820 schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical; too, too vain, too, too vain.
821 But we will put it, as they say, to _fortuna de la guerra_. I wish you
822 the peace of mind, most royal couplement!
823 [_Exit._]
824 KING.
825 Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of
826 Troy; the swain, Pompey the Great; the parish curate, Alexander;
827 Armado’s page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus.
828 _And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
829 These four will change habits and present the other five._
830 BEROWNE.
831 There is five in the first show.
832 KING.
833 You are deceived. ’Tis not so.
834 BEROWNE.
835 The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool, and the boy.
836 Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
837 Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
838 KING.
839 The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
840 Enter Costard as Pompey.
841 COSTARD.
842 _I Pompey am_—
843 BEROWNE.
844 You lie, you are not he.
845 COSTARD.
846 _I Pompey am_—
847 BOYET.
848 With leopard’s head on knee.
849 BEROWNE.
850 Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with thee.
851 COSTARD.
852 _I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big._
853 DUMAINE.
854 The “Great”.
855 COSTARD.
856 It is “Great”, sir; _Pompey surnamed the Great,
857 That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my foe to sweat.
858 And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
859 And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France._
860 If your ladyship would say, “Thanks, Pompey”, I had done.
861 PRINCESS.
862 Great thanks, great Pompey.
863 COSTARD.
864 ’Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect. I made a little fault
865 in “Great”.
866 BEROWNE.
867 My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.
868 Enter Nathaniel, the Curate, for Alexander.
869 NATHANIEL.
870 _When in the world I lived, I was the world’s commander;
871 By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering might.
872 My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander._
873 BOYET.
874 Your nose says, no, you are not; for it stands to right.
875 BEROWNE.
876 Your nose smells “no” in this, most tender-smelling knight.
877 PRINCESS.
878 The conqueror is dismayed. Proceed, good Alexander.
879 NATHANIEL.
880 _When in the world I lived, I was the world’s commander_—
881 BOYET.
882 Most true; ’tis right. You were so, Alisander.
883 BEROWNE.
884 Pompey the Great—
885 COSTARD.
886 Your servant, and Costard.
887 BEROWNE.
888 Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
889 COSTARD.
890 [_To Sir Nathaniel_.] O sir, you have overthrown Alisander the
891 Conqueror. You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this. Your
892 lion, that holds his pole-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given
893 to Ajax. He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, and afeard to speak?
894 Run away for shame, Alisander. [_Nathaniel retires_.] There, an’t shall
895 please you, a foolish mild man; an honest man, look you, and soon
896 dashed. He is a marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good
897 bowler; but for Alisander, alas you see how ’tis—a little o’erparted.
898 But there are Worthies a-coming will speak their mind in some other
899 sort.
900 PRINCESS.
901 Stand aside, good Pompey.
902 Enter Holofernes, the Pedant, as Judas, and Moth, the Boy, as Hercules.
903 HOLOFERNES.
904 _Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
905 Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed_ canus,
906 _And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
907 Thus did he strangle serpents in his_ manus.
908 Quoniam _he seemeth in minority_,
909 Ergo _I come with this apology._
910 Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
911 [_Moth retires._]
912 _Judas I am._—
913 DUMAINE.
914 A Judas!
915 HOLOFERNES.
916 Not Iscariot, sir.
917 _Judas I am, ycleped Maccabaeus._
918 DUMAINE.
919 Judas Maccabaeus clipped is plain Judas.
920 BEROWNE.
921 A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas?
922 HOLOFERNES.
923 _Judas I am_—
924 DUMAINE.
925 The more shame for you, Judas.
926 HOLOFERNES.
927 What mean you, sir?
928 BOYET.
929 To make Judas hang himself.
930 HOLOFERNES.
931 Begin, sir; you are my elder.
932 BEROWNE.
933 Well followed. Judas was hanged on an elder.
934 HOLOFERNES.
935 I will not be put out of countenance.
936 BEROWNE.
937 Because thou hast no face.
938 HOLOFERNES.
939 What is this?
940 BOYET.
941 A cittern-head.
942 DUMAINE.
943 The head of a bodkin.
944 BEROWNE.
945 A death’s face in a ring.
946 LONGAVILLE.
947 The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.
948 BOYET.
949 The pommel of Caesar’s falchion.
950 DUMAINE.
951 The carved-bone face on a flask.
952 BEROWNE.
953 Saint George’s half-cheek in a brooch.
954 DUMAINE.
955 Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
956 BEROWNE.
957 Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
958 And now forward, for we have put thee in countenance.
959 HOLOFERNES.
960 You have put me out of countenance.
961 BEROWNE.
962 False. We have given thee faces.
963 HOLOFERNES.
964 But you have outfaced them all.
965 BEROWNE.
966 An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
967 BOYET.
968 Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.
969 And so adieu, sweet Jude. Nay, why dost thou stay?
970 DUMAINE.
971 For the latter end of his name.
972 BEROWNE.
973 For the ass to the Jude? Give it him. Jud-as, away!
974 HOLOFERNES.
975 This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
976 BOYET.
977 A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may stumble.
978 [_Exit Holofernes._]
979 PRINCESS.
980 Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
981 Enter Armado, the Braggart, as Hector.
982 BEROWNE.
983 Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector in arms.
984 DUMAINE.
985 Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.
986 KING.
987 Hector was but a Trojan in respect of this.
988 BOYET.
989 But is this Hector?
990 DUMAINE.
991 I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
992 LONGAVILLE.
993 His leg is too big for Hector’s.
994 DUMAINE.
995 More calf, certain.
996 BOYET.
997 No, he is best endued in the small.
998 BEROWNE.
999 This cannot be Hector.
1000 DUMAINE.
1001 He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.
1002 ARMADO.
1003 _The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
1004 Gave Hector a gift_—
1005 DUMAINE.
1006 A gilt nutmeg.
1007 BEROWNE.
1008 A lemon.
1009 LONGAVILLE.
1010 Stuck with cloves.
1011 DUMAINE.
1012 No, cloven.
1013 ARMADO.
1014 Peace!
1015 _The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
1016 Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;
1017 A man so breathed that certain he would fight, yea,
1018 From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
1019 I am that flower_—
1020 DUMAINE.
1021 That mint.
1022 LONGAVILLE.
1023 That columbine.
1024 ARMADO.
1025 Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
1026 LONGAVILLE.
1027 I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.
1028 DUMAINE.
1029 Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.
1030 ARMADO.
1031 The sweet war-man is dead and rotten. Sweet chucks, beat not the bones
1032 of the buried. When he breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with
1033 my device. [_To the Princess_.] Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense
1034 of hearing.
1035 PRINCESS.
1036 Speak, brave Hector; we are much delighted.
1037 ARMADO.
1038 I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.
1039 BOYET.
1040 Loves her by the foot.
1041 DUMAINE.
1042 He may not by the yard.
1043 ARMADO.
1044 _This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.
1045 The party is gone_—
1046 COSTARD.
1047 Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way.
1048 ARMADO.
1049 What meanest thou?
1050 COSTARD.
1051 Faith, unless you play the honest Trojan, the poor wench is cast away.
1052 She’s quick; the child brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.
1053 ARMADO.
1054 Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? Thou shalt die.
1055 COSTARD.
1056 Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is quick by him, and
1057 hanged for Pompey that is dead by him.
1058 DUMAINE.
1059 Most rare Pompey!
1060 BOYET.
1061 Renowned Pompey!
1062 BEROWNE.
1063 Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great Pompey! Pompey the Huge!
1064 DUMAINE.
1065 Hector trembles.
1066 BEROWNE.
1067 Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! Stir them on, stir them on!
1068 DUMAINE.
1069 Hector will challenge him.
1070 BEROWNE.
1071 Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his belly than will sup a flea.
1072 ARMADO.
1073 By the north pole, I do challenge thee.
1074 COSTARD.
1075 I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man. I’ll slash, I’ll do
1076 it by the sword. I bepray you, let me borrow my arms again.
1077 DUMAINE.
1078 Room for the incensed Worthies!
1079 COSTARD.
1080 I’ll do it in my shirt.
1081 DUMAINE.
1082 Most resolute Pompey!
1083 MOTH.
1084 Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you not see Pompey is
1085 uncasing for the combat? What mean you? You will lose your reputation.
1086 ARMADO.
1087 Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me. I will not combat in my shirt.
1088 DUMAINE.
1089 You may not deny it. Pompey hath made the challenge.
1090 ARMADO.
1091 Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
1092 BEROWNE.
1093 What reason have you for ’t?
1094 ARMADO.
1095 The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. I go woolward for penance.
1096 BOYET.
1097 True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of linen; since when,
1098 I’ll be sworn, he wore none but a dishclout of Jaquenetta’s, and that
1099 he wears next his heart for a favour.
1100 Enter a Messenger, Monsieur Marcadé.
1101 MARCADÉ.
1102 God save you, madam.
1103 PRINCESS.
1104 Welcome, Marcadé,
1105 But that thou interruptest our merriment.
1106 MARCADÉ.
1107 I am sorry, madam, for the news I bring
1108 Is heavy in my tongue. The King your father—
1109 PRINCESS.
1110 Dead, for my life!
1111 MARCADÉ.
1112 Even so. My tale is told.
1113 BEROWNE.
1114 Worthies away! The scene begins to cloud.
1115 ARMADO.
1116 For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have seen the day of wrong
1117 through the little hole of discretion, and I will right myself like a
1118 soldier.
1119 [_Exeunt Worthies._]
1120 KING.
1121 How fares your Majesty?
1122 PRINCESS.
1123 Boyet, prepare. I will away tonight.
1124 KING.
1125 Madam, not so. I do beseech you stay.
1126 PRINCESS.
1127 Prepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords,
1128 For all your fair endeavours, and entreat,
1129 Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
1130 In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
1131 The liberal opposition of our spirits,
1132 If over-boldly we have borne ourselves
1133 In the converse of breath; your gentleness
1134 Was guilty of it. Farewell, worthy lord!
1135 A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue.
1136 Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
1137 For my great suit so easily obtained.
1138 KING.
1139 The extreme parts of time extremely forms
1140 All causes to the purpose of his speed,
1141 And often at his very loose decides
1142 That which long process could not arbitrate.
1143 And though the mourning brow of progeny
1144 Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
1145 The holy suit which fain it would convince,
1146 Yet, since love’s argument was first on foot,
1147 Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it
1148 From what it purposed; since to wail friends lost
1149 Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
1150 As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
1151 PRINCESS.
1152 I understand you not. My griefs are double.
1153 BEROWNE.
1154 Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;
1155 And by these badges understand the King.
1156 For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
1157 Played foul play with our oaths. Your beauty, ladies,
1158 Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humours
1159 Even to the opposed end of our intents;
1160 And what in us hath seemed ridiculous—
1161 As love is full of unbefitting strains,
1162 All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
1163 Formed by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
1164 Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms,
1165 Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
1166 To every varied object in his glance;
1167 Which parti-coated presence of loose love
1168 Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
1169 Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
1170 Those heavenly eyes that look into these faults
1171 Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
1172 Our love being yours, the error that love makes
1173 Is likewise yours. We to ourselves prove false
1174 By being once false for ever to be true
1175 To those that make us both—fair ladies, you.
1176 And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
1177 Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
1178 PRINCESS.
1179 We have received your letters, full of love;
1180 Your favours, the ambassadors of love;
1181 And in our maiden council rated them
1182 At courtship, pleasant jest, and courtesy,
1183 As bombast and as lining to the time.
1184 But more devout than this in our respects
1185 Have we not been; and therefore met your loves
1186 In their own fashion, like a merriment.
1187 DUMAINE.
1188 Our letters, madam, showed much more than jest.
1189 LONGAVILLE.
1190 So did our looks.
1191 ROSALINE.
1192 We did not quote them so.
1193 KING.
1194 Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
1195 Grant us your loves.
1196 PRINCESS.
1197 A time, methinks, too short
1198 To make a world-without-end bargain in.
1199 No, no, my lord, your Grace is perjured much,
1200 Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this:
1201 If for my love—as there is no such cause—
1202 You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
1203 Your oath I will not trust, but go with speed
1204 To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
1205 Remote from all the pleasures of the world,
1206 There stay until the twelve celestial signs
1207 Have brought about the annual reckoning.
1208 If this austere insociable life
1209 Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
1210 If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds,
1211 Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
1212 But that it bear this trial, and last love;
1213 Then, at the expiration of the year,
1214 Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
1215 And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine,
1216 I will be thine. And, till that instance, shut
1217 My woeful self up in a mournful house,
1218 Raining the tears of lamentation
1219 For the remembrance of my father’s death.
1220 If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
1221 Neither entitled in the other’s heart.
1222 KING.
1223 If this, or more than this, I would deny,
1224 To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
1225 The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
1226 Hence hermit, then. My heart is in thy breast.
1227 [_They converse apart_]
1228 DUMAINE.
1229 And what to me, my love? But what to me?
1230 A wife?
1231 KATHARINE.
1232 A beard, fair health, and honesty;
1233 With threefold love I wish you all these three.
1234 DUMAINE.
1235 O, shall I say, “I thank you, gentle wife”?
1236 KATHARINE.
1237 No so, my lord. A twelvemonth and a day
1238 I’ll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.
1239 Come when the King doth to my lady come;
1240 Then, if I have much love, I’ll give you some.
1241 DUMAINE.
1242 I’ll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
1243 KATHARINE.
1244 Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.
1245 [_They converse apart_]
1246 LONGAVILLE.
1247 What says Maria?
1248 MARIA.
1249 At the twelvemonth’s end
1250 I’ll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
1251 LONGAVILLE.
1252 I’ll stay with patience, but the time is long.
1253 MARIA.
1254 The liker you; few taller are so young.
1255 [_They converse apart_]
1256 BEROWNE.
1257 Studies my lady? Mistress, look on me.
1258 Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
1259 What humble suit attends thy answer there.
1260 Impose some service on me for thy love.
1261 ROSALINE.
1262 Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Berowne,
1263 Before I saw you; and the world’s large tongue
1264 Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
1265 Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
1266 Which you on all estates will execute
1267 That lie within the mercy of your wit.
1268 To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
1269 And therewithal to win me, if you please,
1270 Without the which I am not to be won,
1271 You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
1272 Visit the speechless sick, and still converse
1273 With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
1274 With all the fierce endeavour of your wit
1275 To enforce the pained impotent to smile.
1276 BEROWNE.
1277 To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
1278 It cannot be, it is impossible.
1279 Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
1280 ROSALINE.
1281 Why, that’s the way to choke a gibing spirit,
1282 Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
1283 Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.
1284 A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear
1285 Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
1286 Of him that makes it. Then, if sickly ears,
1287 Deafed with the clamours of their own dear groans,
1288 Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
1289 And I will have you and that fault withal;
1290 But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
1291 And I shall find you empty of that fault,
1292 Right joyful of your reformation.
1293 BEROWNE.
1294 A twelvemonth? Well, befall what will befall,
1295 I’ll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
1296 PRINCESS.
1297 [_To the King_.] Ay, sweet my lord, and so I take my leave.
1298 KING.
1299 No, madam, we will bring you on your way.
1300 BEROWNE.
1301 Our wooing doth not end like an old play.
1302 Jack hath not Jill. These ladies’ courtesy
1303 Might well have made our sport a comedy.
1304 KING.
1305 Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
1306 And then ’twill end.
1307 BEROWNE.
1308 That’s too long for a play.
1309 Enter Armado, the Braggart.
1310 ARMADO.
1311 Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me—
1312 PRINCESS.
1313 Was not that Hector?
1314 DUMAINE.
1315 The worthy knight of Troy.
1316 ARMADO.
1317 I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am a votary; I have
1318 vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the plough for her sweet love three year.
1319 But, most esteemed Greatness, will you hear the dialogue that the two
1320 learned men have compiled in praise of the owl and the cuckoo? It
1321 should have followed in the end of our show.
1322 KING.
1323 Call them forth quickly; we will do so.
1324 ARMADO.
1325 Holla! Approach.
1326 Enter all.
1327 This side is _Hiems_, Winter; this _Ver_, the Spring; the one
1328 maintained by the owl, th’ other by the cuckoo. _Ver_, begin.
1329 The Song
1330 SPRING.
1331 When daisies pied and violets blue
1332 And lady-smocks all silver-white
1333 And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
1334 Do paint the meadows with delight,
1335 The cuckoo then on every tree
1336 Mocks married men; for thus sings he:
1337 “Cuckoo!
1338 Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O, word of fear,
1339 Unpleasing to a married ear.
1340 When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,
1341 And merry larks are ploughmen’s clocks,
1342 When turtles tread, and rooks and daws,
1343 And maidens bleach their summer smocks,
1344 The cuckoo then, on every tree,
1345 Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
1346 “Cuckoo!
1347 Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O, word of fear,
1348 Unpleasing to a married ear.
1349 WINTER.
1350 When icicles hang by the wall,
1351 And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
1352 And Tom bears logs into the hall,
1353 And milk comes frozen home in pail,
1354 When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,
1355 Then nightly sings the staring owl:
1356 “Tu-whit, Tu-whoo!” A merry note,
1357 While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
1358 When all aloud the wind doth blow,
1359 And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,
1360 And birds sit brooding in the snow,
1361 And Marian’s nose looks red and raw,
1362 When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
1363 Then nightly sings the staring owl:
1364 “Tu-whit, Tu-whoo!” A merry note,
1365 While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
1366 ARMADO.
1367 The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of Apollo.
1368 You that way, we this way.
1369 [_Exeunt._]