Measure For Measure

1 Enter Lucio and two other Gentlemen.
2 LUCIO.
3 If the Duke, with the other dukes, come not to composition with the
4 King of Hungary, why then all the dukes fall upon the King.
5 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
6 Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of Hungary’s!
7 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
8 Amen.
9 LUCIO.
10 Thou conclud’st like the sanctimonious pirate that went to sea with the
11 ten commandments, but scraped one out of the table.
12 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
13 “Thou shalt not steal”?
14 LUCIO.
15 Ay, that he razed.
16 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
17 Why, ’twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest from
18 their functions! They put forth to steal. There’s not a soldier of us
19 all that, in the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition well
20 that prays for peace.
21 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
22 I never heard any soldier dislike it.
23 LUCIO.
24 I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where grace was said.
25 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
26 No? A dozen times at least.
27 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
28 What? In metre?
29 LUCIO.
30 In any proportion or in any language.
31 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
32 I think, or in any religion.
33 LUCIO.
34 Ay, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy; as, for
35 example, thou thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace.
36 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
37 Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.
38 LUCIO.
39 I grant, as there may between the lists and the velvet. Thou art the
40 list.
41 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
42 And thou the velvet. Thou art good velvet; thou’rt a three-piled piece,
43 I warrant thee. I had as lief be a list of an English kersey as be
44 piled, as thou art piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly
45 now?
46 LUCIO.
47 I think thou dost, and indeed, with most painful feeling of thy speech.
48 I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy health; but,
49 whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.
50 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
51 I think I have done myself wrong, have I not?
52 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
53 Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.
54 Enter Mistress Overdone, a Bawd.
55 LUCIO.
56 Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as many
57 diseases under her roof as come to—
58 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
59 To what, I pray?
60 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
61 Judge.
62 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
63 To three thousand dolours a year.
64 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
65 Ay, and more.
66 LUCIO.
67 A French crown more.
68 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
69 Thou art always figuring diseases in me, but thou art full of error; I
70 am sound.
71 LUCIO.
72 Nay, not, as one would say, healthy, but so sound as things that are
73 hollow. Thy bones are hollow. Impiety has made a feast of thee.
74 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
75 How now, which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?
76 BAWD.
77 Well, well! There’s one yonder arrested and carried to prison was worth
78 five thousand of you all.
79 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
80 Who’s that, I pray thee?
81 BAWD.
82 Marry, sir, that’s Claudio, Signior Claudio.
83 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
84 Claudio to prison? ’Tis not so.
85 BAWD.
86 Nay, but I know ’tis so. I saw him arrested, saw him carried away; and,
87 which is more, within these three days his head to be chopped off.
88 LUCIO.
89 But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so. Art thou sure of
90 this?
91 BAWD.
92 I am too sure of it. And it is for getting Madam Julietta with child.
93 LUCIO.
94 Believe me, this may be. He promised to meet me two hours since, and he
95 was ever precise in promise-keeping.
96 SECOND GENTLEMAN.
97 Besides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had to such
98 a purpose.
99 FIRST GENTLEMAN.
100 But most of all agreeing with the proclamation.
101 LUCIO.
102 Away! Let’s go learn the truth of it.
103 [_Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen._]
104 BAWD.
105 Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the gallows,
106 and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk.
107 Enter Pompey.
108 How now? What’s the news with you?
109 POMPEY.
110 Yonder man is carried to prison.
111 BAWD.
112 Well, what has he done?
113 POMPEY.
114 A woman.
115 BAWD.
116 But what’s his offence?
117 POMPEY.
118 Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.
119 BAWD.
120 What? Is there a maid with child by him?
121 POMPEY.
122 No, but there’s a woman with maid by him. You have not heard of the
123 proclamation, have you?
124 BAWD.
125 What proclamation, man?
126 POMPEY.
127 All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.
128 BAWD.
129 And what shall become of those in the city?
130 POMPEY.
131 They shall stand for seed. They had gone down too, but that a wise
132 burgher put in for them.
133 BAWD.
134 But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pulled down?
135 POMPEY.
136 To the ground, mistress.
137 BAWD.
138 Why, here’s a change indeed in the commonwealth! What shall become of
139 me?
140 POMPEY.
141 Come, fear not you. Good counsellors lack no clients. Though you change
142 your place, you need not change your trade. I’ll be your tapster still.
143 Courage, there will be pity taken on you. You that have worn your eyes
144 almost out in the service, you will be considered.
145 Enter Provost, Claudio, Juliet and Officers.
146 BAWD.
147 What’s to do here, Thomas Tapster? Let’s withdraw.
148 POMPEY.
149 Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the Provost to prison. And there’s
150 Madam Juliet.
151 [_Exeunt Bawd and Pompey._]
152 CLAUDIO.
153 Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world?
154 Bear me to prison, where I am committed.
155 PROVOST.
156 I do it not in evil disposition,
157 But from Lord Angelo by special charge.
158 CLAUDIO.
159 Thus can the demi-god Authority
160 Make us pay down for our offence by weight.
161 The words of heaven; on whom it will, it will;
162 On whom it will not, so; yet still ’tis just.
163 Enter Lucio and two Gentlemen.
164 LUCIO.
165 Why, how now, Claudio? Whence comes this restraint?
166 CLAUDIO.
167 From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty.
168 As surfeit is the father of much fast,
169 So every scope by the immoderate use
170 Turns to restraint. Our natures do pursue,
171 Like rats that ravin down their proper bane,
172 A thirsty evil; and when we drink, we die.
173 LUCIO.
174 If I could speak so wisely under an arrest, I would send for certain of
175 my creditors; and yet, to say the truth, I had as lief have the foppery
176 of freedom as the morality of imprisonment. What’s thy offence,
177 Claudio?
178 CLAUDIO.
179 What but to speak of would offend again.
180 LUCIO.
181 What, is’t murder?
182 CLAUDIO.
183 No.
184 LUCIO.
185 Lechery?
186 CLAUDIO.
187 Call it so.
188 PROVOST.
189 Away, sir; you must go.
190 CLAUDIO.
191 One word, good friend.—Lucio, a word with you.
192 LUCIO.
193 A hundred, if they’ll do you any good. Is lechery so looked after?
194 CLAUDIO.
195 Thus stands it with me: upon a true contract
196 I got possession of Julietta’s bed.
197 You know the lady; she is fast my wife,
198 Save that we do the denunciation lack
199 Of outward order. This we came not to
200 Only for propagation of a dower
201 Remaining in the coffer of her friends,
202 From whom we thought it meet to hide our love
203 Till time had made them for us. But it chances
204 The stealth of our most mutual entertainment
205 With character too gross is writ on Juliet.
206 LUCIO.
207 With child, perhaps?
208 CLAUDIO.
209 Unhappily, even so.
210 And the new deputy now for the Duke—
211 Whether it be the fault and glimpse of newness,
212 Or whether that the body public be
213 A horse whereon the governor doth ride,
214 Who, newly in the seat, that it may know
215 He can command, lets it straight feel the spur;
216 Whether the tyranny be in his place,
217 Or in his eminence that fills it up,
218 I stagger in—but this new governor
219 Awakes me all the enrolled penalties
220 Which have, like unscoured armour, hung by th’ wall
221 So long that nineteen zodiacs have gone round,
222 And none of them been worn; and for a name
223 Now puts the drowsy and neglected act
224 Freshly on me. ’Tis surely for a name.
225 LUCIO.
226 I warrant it is. And thy head stands so tickle on thy shoulders that a
227 milkmaid, if she be in love, may sigh it off. Send after the Duke, and
228 appeal to him.
229 CLAUDIO.
230 I have done so, but he’s not to be found.
231 I prithee, Lucio, do me this kind service:
232 This day my sister should the cloister enter,
233 And there receive her approbation.
234 Acquaint her with the danger of my state;
235 Implore her, in my voice, that she make friends
236 To the strict deputy; bid herself assay him.
237 I have great hope in that. For in her youth
238 There is a prone and speechless dialect
239 Such as moves men; beside, she hath prosperous art
240 When she will play with reason and discourse,
241 And well she can persuade.
242 LUCIO.
243 I pray she may, as well for the encouragement of the like, which else
244 would stand under grievous imposition, as for the enjoying of thy life,
245 who I would be sorry should be thus foolishly lost at a game of
246 tick-tack. I’ll to her.
247 CLAUDIO.
248 I thank you, good friend Lucio.
249 LUCIO.
250 Within two hours.
251 CLAUDIO.
252 Come, officer, away.
253 [_Exeunt._]