Measure For Measure

1 Enter Angelo, Escalus, Servants, and a Justice.
2 ANGELO.
3 We must not make a scarecrow of the law,
4 Setting it up to fear the birds of prey,
5 And let it keep one shape till custom make it
6 Their perch, and not their terror.
7 ESCALUS.
8 Ay, but yet
9 Let us be keen, and rather cut a little
10 Than fall and bruise to death. Alas, this gentleman,
11 Whom I would save, had a most noble father.
12 Let but your honour know,
13 Whom I believe to be most strait in virtue,
14 That, in the working of your own affections,
15 Had time cohered with place, or place with wishing,
16 Or that the resolute acting of your blood
17 Could have attained th’ effect of your own purpose,
18 Whether you had not sometime in your life
19 Erred in this point which now you censure him,
20 And pulled the law upon you.
21 ANGELO.
22 ’Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus,
23 Another thing to fall. I not deny
24 The jury passing on the prisoner’s life
25 May in the sworn twelve have a thief or two
26 Guiltier than him they try. What’s open made to justice,
27 That justice seizes. What knows the laws
28 That thieves do pass on thieves? ’Tis very pregnant,
29 The jewel that we find, we stoop and take ’t,
30 Because we see it; but what we do not see,
31 We tread upon, and never think of it.
32 You may not so extenuate his offence
33 For I have had such faults; but rather tell me,
34 When I that censure him do so offend,
35 Let mine own judgement pattern out my death,
36 And nothing come in partial. Sir, he must die.
37 Enter Provost.
38 ESCALUS.
39 Be it as your wisdom will.
40 ANGELO.
41 Where is the Provost?
42 PROVOST.
43 Here, if it like your honour.
44 ANGELO.
45 See that Claudio
46 Be executed by nine tomorrow morning.
47 Bring him his confessor, let him be prepared,
48 For that’s the utmost of his pilgrimage.
49 [_Exit Provost._]
50 ESCALUS.
51 Well, heaven forgive him; and forgive us all.
52 Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall.
53 Some run from brakes of vice, and answer none,
54 And some condemned for a fault alone.
55 Enter Elbow and Officers with Froth and Pompey.
56 ELBOW.
57 Come, bring them away. If these be good people in a commonweal that do
58 nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law. Bring
59 them away.
60 ANGELO.
61 How now, sir, what’s your name? And what’s the matter?
62 ELBOW.
63 If it please your honour, I am the poor Duke’s constable, and my name
64 is Elbow. I do lean upon justice, sir, and do bring in here before your
65 good honour two notorious benefactors.
66 ANGELO.
67 Benefactors? Well, what benefactors are they? Are they not malefactors?
68 ELBOW.
69 If it please your honour, I know not well what they are, but precise
70 villains they are, that I am sure of, and void of all profanation in
71 the world that good Christians ought to have.
72 ESCALUS.
73 This comes off well. Here’s a wise officer.
74 ANGELO.
75 Go to. What quality are they of? Elbow is your name? Why dost thou not
76 speak, Elbow?
77 POMPEY.
78 He cannot, sir. He’s out at elbow.
79 ANGELO.
80 What are you, sir?
81 ELBOW.
82 He, sir? A tapster, sir; parcel bawd; one that serves a bad woman;
83 whose house, sir, was, as they say, plucked down in the suburbs; and
84 now she professes a hot-house, which, I think is a very ill house too.
85 ESCALUS.
86 How know you that?
87 ELBOW.
88 My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and your honour—
89 ESCALUS.
90 How? Thy wife?
91 ELBOW.
92 Ay, sir, whom I thank heaven is an honest woman—
93 ESCALUS.
94 Dost thou detest her therefore?
95 ELBOW.
96 I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house,
97 if it be not a bawd’s house, it is pity of her life, for it is a
98 naughty house.
99 ESCALUS.
100 How dost thou know that, constable?
101 ELBOW.
102 Marry, sir, by my wife, who, if she had been a woman cardinally given,
103 might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness
104 there.
105 ESCALUS.
106 By the woman’s means?
107 ELBOW.
108 Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone’s means; but as she spit in his face, so
109 she defied him.
110 POMPEY.
111 Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.
112 ELBOW.
113 Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man, prove it.
114 ESCALUS.
115 [_To Angelo_.] Do you hear how he misplaces?
116 POMPEY.
117 Sir, she came in great with child; and longing, saving your honour’s
118 reverence, for stewed prunes; sir, we had but two in the house, which
119 at that very distant time stood, as it were, in a fruit dish, a dish of
120 some threepence; your honours have seen such dishes; they are not china
121 dishes, but very good dishes—
122 ESCALUS.
123 Go to, go to. No matter for the dish, sir.
124 POMPEY.
125 No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in the right. But to the
126 point. As I say, this Mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and
127 being great-bellied, and longing, as I said, for prunes; and having but
128 two in the dish, as I said, Master Froth here, this very man, having
129 eaten the rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them very
130 honestly; for, as you know, Master Froth, I could not give you
131 threepence again—
132 FROTH.
133 No, indeed.
134 POMPEY.
135 Very well. You being then, if you be remembered, cracking the stones of
136 the foresaid prunes—
137 FROTH.
138 Ay, so I did indeed.
139 POMPEY.
140 Why, very well. I telling you then, if you be remembered, that such a
141 one and such a one were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they
142 kept very good diet, as I told you—
143 FROTH.
144 All this is true.
145 POMPEY.
146 Why, very well then—
147 ESCALUS.
148 Come, you are a tedious fool. To the purpose. What was done to Elbow’s
149 wife that he hath cause to complain of? Come me to what was done to
150 her.
151 POMPEY.
152 Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet.
153 ESCALUS.
154 No, sir, nor I mean it not.
155 POMPEY.
156 Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour’s leave. And I beseech
157 you, look into Master Froth here, sir, a man of fourscore pound a year;
158 whose father died at Hallowmas—was’t not at Hallowmas, Master Froth?
159 FROTH.
160 All-hallond Eve.
161 POMPEY.
162 Why, very well. I hope here be truths. He, sir, sitting, as I say, in a
163 lower chair, sir—’twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where, indeed, you have
164 a delight to sit, have you not?
165 FROTH.
166 I have so, because it is an open room, and good for winter.
167 POMPEY.
168 Why, very well then. I hope here be truths.
169 ANGELO.
170 This will last out a night in Russia
171 When nights are longest there. I’ll take my leave,
172 And leave you to the hearing of the cause;
173 Hoping you’ll find good cause to whip them all.
174 ESCALUS.
175 I think no less. Good morrow to your lordship.
176 [_Exit Angelo._]
177 Now, sir, come on. What was done to Elbow’s wife, once more?
178 POMPEY.
179 Once, sir? There was nothing done to her once.
180 ELBOW.
181 I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.
182 POMPEY.
183 I beseech your honour, ask me.
184 ESCALUS.
185 Well, sir, what did this gentleman to her?
186 POMPEY.
187 I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman’s face. Good Master Froth,
188 look upon his honour; ’tis for a good purpose.—Doth your honour mark
189 his face?
190 ESCALUS.
191 Ay, sir, very well.
192 POMPEY.
193 Nay, I beseech you, mark it well.
194 ESCALUS.
195 Well, I do so.
196 POMPEY.
197 Doth your honour see any harm in his face?
198 ESCALUS.
199 Why, no.
200 POMPEY.
201 I’ll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him.
202 Good, then, if his face be the worst thing about him, how could Master
203 Froth do the constable’s wife any harm? I would know that of your
204 honour.
205 ESCALUS.
206 He’s in the right. Constable. What say you to it?
207 ELBOW.
208 First, an it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a
209 respected fellow; and his mistress is a respected woman.
210 POMPEY.
211 By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us
212 all.
213 ELBOW.
214 Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet! The time is yet to come
215 that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child.
216 POMPEY.
217 Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her.
218 ESCALUS.
219 Which is the wiser here, Justice or Iniquity? Is this true?
220 ELBOW.
221 O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with
222 her before I was married to her? If ever I was respected with her, or
223 she with me, let not your worship think me the poor Duke’s officer.
224 Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I’ll have mine action of battery
225 on thee.
226 ESCALUS.
227 If he took you a box o’ th’ ear, you might have your action of slander
228 too.
229 ELBOW.
230 Marry, I thank your good worship for it. What is’t your worship’s
231 pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff?
232 ESCALUS.
233 Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him that thou wouldst
234 discover if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses till thou
235 know’st what they are.
236 ELBOW.
237 Marry, I thank your worship for it.—Thou seest, thou wicked varlet,
238 now, what’s come upon thee. Thou art to continue now, thou varlet, thou
239 art to continue.
240 ESCALUS.
241 [_To Froth_.] Where were you born, friend?
242 FROTH.
243 Here in Vienna, sir.
244 ESCALUS.
245 Are you of fourscore pounds a year?
246 FROTH.
247 Yes, an’t please you, sir.
248 ESCALUS.
249 So. [_To Pompey_.] What trade are you of, sir?
250 POMPEY.
251 A tapster, a poor widow’s tapster.
252 ESCALUS.
253 Your mistress’ name?
254 POMPEY.
255 Mistress Overdone.
256 ESCALUS.
257 Hath she had any more than one husband?
258 POMPEY.
259 Nine, sir; Overdone by the last.
260 ESCALUS.
261 Nine?—Come hither to me, Master Froth. Master Froth, I would not have
262 you acquainted with tapsters; they will draw you, Master Froth, and you
263 will hang them. Get you gone, and let me hear no more of you.
264 FROTH.
265 I thank your worship. For mine own part, I never come into any room in
266 a taphouse but I am drawn in.
267 ESCALUS.
268 Well, no more of it, Master Froth. Farewell.
269 [_Exit Froth._]
270 Come you hither to me, Master tapster. What’s your name, Master
271 tapster?
272 POMPEY.
273 Pompey.
274 ESCALUS.
275 What else?
276 POMPEY.
277 Bum, sir.
278 ESCALUS.
279 Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that, in the
280 beastliest sense, you are Pompey the great. Pompey, you are partly a
281 bawd, Pompey, howsoever you colour it in being a tapster, are you not?
282 Come, tell me true, it shall be the better for you.
283 POMPEY.
284 Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.
285 ESCALUS.
286 How would you live, Pompey? By being a bawd? What do you think of the
287 trade, Pompey? Is it a lawful trade?
288 POMPEY.
289 If the law would allow it, sir.
290 ESCALUS.
291 But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it shall not be allowed in
292 Vienna.
293 POMPEY.
294 Does your worship mean to geld and splay all the youth of the city?
295 ESCALUS.
296 No, Pompey.
297 POMPEY.
298 Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to’t then. If your worship
299 will take order for the drabs and the knaves, you need not to fear the
300 bawds.
301 ESCALUS.
302 There is pretty orders beginning, I can tell you. It is but heading and
303 hanging.
304 POMPEY.
305 If you head and hang all that offend that way but for ten year
306 together, you’ll be glad to give out a commission for more heads. If
307 this law hold in Vienna ten year, I’ll rent the fairest house in it
308 after threepence a bay. If you live to see this come to pass, say
309 Pompey told you so.
310 ESCALUS.
311 Thank you, good Pompey; and, in requital of your prophecy, hark you: I
312 advise you, let me not find you before me again upon any complaint
313 whatsoever; no, not for dwelling where you do. If I do, Pompey, I shall
314 beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd Caesar to you. In plain
315 dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipped. So for this time, Pompey,
316 fare you well.
317 POMPEY.
318 I thank your worship for your good counsel. [_Aside_.] But I shall
319 follow it as the flesh and fortune shall better determine.
320 Whip me? No, no; let carman whip his jade;
321 The valiant heart’s not whipped out of his trade.
322 [_Exit._]
323 ESCALUS.
324 Come hither to me, Master Elbow. Come hither, Master Constable. How
325 long have you been in this place of constable?
326 ELBOW.
327 Seven year and a half, sir.
328 ESCALUS.
329 I thought, by the readiness in the office, you had continued in it
330 sometime. You say seven years together?
331 ELBOW.
332 And a half, sir.
333 ESCALUS.
334 Alas, it hath been great pains to you. They do you wrong to put you so
335 oft upon’t. Are there not men in your ward sufficient to serve it?
336 ELBOW.
337 Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters. As they are chosen, they
338 are glad to choose me for them; I do it for some piece of money, and go
339 through with all.
340 ESCALUS.
341 Look you bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most
342 sufficient of your parish.
343 ELBOW.
344 To your worship’s house, sir?
345 ESCALUS.
346 To my house. Fare you well.
347 [_Exit Elbow._]
348 What’s o’clock, think you?
349 JUSTICE.
350 Eleven, sir.
351 ESCALUS.
352 I pray you home to dinner with me.
353 JUSTICE.
354 I humbly thank you.
355 ESCALUS.
356 It grieves me for the death of Claudio,
357 But there’s no remedy.
358 JUSTICE.
359 Lord Angelo is severe.
360 ESCALUS.
361 It is but needful.
362 Mercy is not itself that oft looks so;
363 Pardon is still the nurse of second woe.
364 But yet, Poor Claudio! There’s no remedy.
365 Come, sir.
366 [_Exeunt._]