Measure For Measure

1 Enter Elbow, Pompey and Officers.
2 ELBOW.
3 Nay, if there be no remedy for it, but that you will needs buy and sell
4 men and women like beasts, we shall have all the world drink brown and
5 white bastard.
6 DUKE.
7 O heavens, what stuff is here?
8 POMPEY.
9 ’Twas never merry world since, of two usuries, the merriest was put
10 down, and the worser allowed by order of law a furred gown to keep him
11 warm; and furred with fox on lambskins too, to signify that craft,
12 being richer than innocency, stands for the facing.
13 ELBOW.
14 Come your way, sir.—Bless you, good father friar.
15 DUKE.
16 And you, good brother father. What offence hath this man made you, sir?
17 ELBOW.
18 Marry, sir, he hath offended the law; and, sir, we take him to be a
19 thief too, sir; for we have found upon him, sir, a strange picklock,
20 which we have sent to the deputy.
21 DUKE.
22 Fie, sirrah, a bawd, a wicked bawd;
23 The evil that thou causest to be done,
24 That is thy means to live. Do thou but think
25 What ’tis to cram a maw or clothe a back
26 From such a filthy vice. Say to thyself,
27 From their abominable and beastly touches
28 I drink, I eat, array myself, and live.
29 Canst thou believe thy living is a life,
30 So stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.
31 POMPEY.
32 Indeed, it does stink in some sort, sir. But yet, sir, I would prove—
33 DUKE.
34 Nay, if the devil have given thee proofs for sin,
35 Thou wilt prove his. Take him to prison, officer.
36 Correction and instruction must both work
37 Ere this rude beast will profit.
38 ELBOW.
39 He must before the deputy, sir; he has given him warning. The deputy
40 cannot abide a whoremaster. If he be a whoremonger and comes before
41 him, he were as good go a mile on his errand.
42 DUKE.
43 That we were all, as some would seem to be,
44 Free from our faults, as faults from seeming, free!
45 ELBOW.
46 His neck will come to your waist—a cord, sir.
47 Enter Lucio.
48 POMPEY.
49 I spy comfort, I cry bail! Here’s a gentleman, and a friend of mine.
50 LUCIO.
51 How now, noble Pompey? What, at the wheels of Caesar? Art thou led in
52 triumph? What, is there none of Pygmalion’s images, newly made woman,
53 to be had now, for putting the hand in the pocket and extracting it
54 clutched? What reply, ha? What say’st thou to this tune, matter, and
55 method? Is’t not drowned i’ th’ last rain, ha? What say’st thou, trot?
56 Is the world as it was, man? Which is the way? Is it sad and few words?
57 Or how? The trick of it?
58 DUKE.
59 Still thus, and thus; still worse!
60 LUCIO.
61 How doth my dear morsel, thy mistress? Procures she still, ha?
62 POMPEY.
63 Troth, sir, she hath eaten up all her beef, and she is herself in the
64 tub.
65 LUCIO.
66 Why, ’tis good. It is the right of it. It must be so. Ever your fresh
67 whore and your powdered bawd; an unshunned consequence; it must be so.
68 Art going to prison, Pompey?
69 POMPEY.
70 Yes, faith, sir.
71 LUCIO.
72 Why, ’tis not amiss, Pompey. Farewell. Go, say I sent thee thither. For
73 debt, Pompey? Or how?
74 ELBOW.
75 For being a bawd, for being a bawd.
76 LUCIO.
77 Well, then, imprison him. If imprisonment be the due of a bawd, why,
78 ’tis his right. Bawd is he doubtless, and of antiquity, too. Bawd born.
79 Farewell, good Pompey. Commend me to the prison, Pompey. You will turn
80 good husband now, Pompey; you will keep the house.
81 POMPEY.
82 I hope, sir, your good worship will be my bail.
83 LUCIO.
84 No, indeed, will I not, Pompey; it is not the wear. I will pray,
85 Pompey, to increase your bondage. If you take it not patiently, why,
86 your mettle is the more. Adieu, trusty Pompey.—Bless you, friar.
87 DUKE.
88 And you.
89 LUCIO.
90 Does Bridget paint still, Pompey, ha?
91 ELBOW.
92 Come your ways, sir, come.
93 POMPEY.
94 You will not bail me then, sir?
95 LUCIO.
96 Then, Pompey, nor now.—What news abroad, friar? What news?
97 ELBOW.
98 Come your ways, sir, come.
99 LUCIO.
100 Go to kennel, Pompey, go.
101 [_Exeunt Elbow, Pompey and Officers._]
102 What news, friar, of the Duke?
103 DUKE.
104 I know none. Can you tell me of any?
105 LUCIO.
106 Some say he is with the Emperor of Russia; other some, he is in Rome.
107 But where is he, think you?
108 DUKE.
109 I know not where, but wheresoever, I wish him well.
110 LUCIO.
111 It was a mad fantastical trick of him to steal from the state and usurp
112 the beggary he was never born to. Lord Angelo dukes it well in his
113 absence. He puts transgression to’t.
114 DUKE.
115 He does well in’t.
116 LUCIO.
117 A little more lenity to lechery would do no harm in him. Something too
118 crabbed that way, friar.
119 DUKE.
120 It is too general a vice, and severity must cure it.
121 LUCIO.
122 Yes, in good sooth, the vice is of a great kindred; it is well allied;
123 but it is impossible to extirp it quite, friar, till eating and
124 drinking be put down. They say this Angelo was not made by man and
125 woman after this downright way of creation. Is it true, think you?
126 DUKE.
127 How should he be made, then?
128 LUCIO.
129 Some report a sea-maid spawned him; some, that he was begot between two
130 stockfishes. But it is certain that when he makes water, his urine is
131 congealed ice; that I know to be true. And he is a motion ungenerative;
132 that’s infallible.
133 DUKE.
134 You are pleasant, sir, and speak apace.
135 LUCIO.
136 Why, what a ruthless thing is this in him, for the rebellion of a
137 codpiece to take away the life of a man! Would the Duke that is absent
138 have done this? Ere he would have hanged a man for the getting a
139 hundred bastards, he would have paid for the nursing a thousand. He had
140 some feeling of the sport; he knew the service, and that instructed him
141 to mercy.
142 DUKE.
143 I never heard the absent Duke much detected for women; he was not
144 inclined that way.
145 LUCIO.
146 O, sir, you are deceived.
147 DUKE.
148 ’Tis not possible.
149 LUCIO.
150 Who, not the Duke? Yes, your beggar of fifty; and his use was to put a
151 ducat in her clack-dish. The Duke had crotchets in him. He would be
152 drunk too, that let me inform you.
153 DUKE.
154 You do him wrong, surely.
155 LUCIO.
156 Sir, I was an inward of his. A shy fellow was the Duke; and I believe I
157 know the cause of his withdrawing.
158 DUKE.
159 What, I prithee, might be the cause?
160 LUCIO.
161 No, pardon. ’Tis a secret must be locked within the teeth and the lips.
162 But this I can let you understand: the greater file of the subject held
163 the Duke to be wise.
164 DUKE.
165 Wise? Why, no question but he was.
166 LUCIO.
167 A very superficial, ignorant, unweighing fellow.
168 DUKE.
169 Either this is envy in you, folly, or mistaking. The very stream of his
170 life, and the business he hath helmed, must upon a warranted need give
171 him a better proclamation. Let him be but testimonied in his own
172 bringings-forth, and he shall appear to the envious a scholar, a
173 statesman, and a soldier. Therefore you speak unskilfully. Or, if your
174 knowledge be more, it is much darkened in your malice.
175 LUCIO.
176 Sir, I know him, and I love him.
177 DUKE.
178 Love talks with better knowledge, and knowledge with dearer love.
179 LUCIO.
180 Come, sir, I know what I know.
181 DUKE.
182 I can hardly believe that, since you know not what you speak. But, if
183 ever the Duke return, as our prayers are he may, let me desire you to
184 make your answer before him. If it be honest you have spoke, you have
185 courage to maintain it. I am bound to call upon you, and I pray you
186 your name?
187 LUCIO.
188 Sir, my name is Lucio, well known to the Duke.
189 DUKE.
190 He shall know you better, sir, if I may live to report you.
191 LUCIO.
192 I fear you not.
193 DUKE.
194 O, you hope the Duke will return no more; or you imagine me too
195 unhurtful an opposite. But indeed, I can do you little harm. You’ll
196 forswear this again.
197 LUCIO.
198 I’ll be hanged first! Thou art deceived in me, friar. But no more of
199 this. Canst thou tell if Claudio die tomorrow or no?
200 DUKE.
201 Why should he die, sir?
202 LUCIO.
203 Why? For filling a bottle with a tun-dish. I would the Duke we talk of
204 were returned again. This ungenitured agent will unpeople the province
205 with continency. Sparrows must not build in his house-eaves because
206 they are lecherous. The Duke yet would have dark deeds darkly answered.
207 He would never bring them to light. Would he were returned! Marry, this
208 Claudio is condemned for untrussing. Farewell, good friar, I prithee
209 pray for me. The Duke, I say to thee again, would eat mutton on
210 Fridays. He’s now past it; yet, and, I say to thee, he would mouth with
211 a beggar though she smelt brown bread and garlic. Say that I said so.
212 Farewell.
213 [_Exit._]
214 DUKE.
215 No might nor greatness in mortality
216 Can censure ’scape. Back-wounding calumny
217 The whitest virtue strikes. What king so strong
218 Can tie the gall up in the slanderous tongue?
219 But who comes here?
220 Enter Escalus, Provost and Officers with Mistress Overdone, a Bawd.
221 ESCALUS.
222 Go, away with her to prison.
223 BAWD.
224 Good my lord, be good to me. Your honour is accounted a merciful man,
225 good my lord.
226 ESCALUS.
227 Double and treble admonition, and still forfeit in the same kind? This
228 would make mercy swear and play the tyrant.
229 PROVOST.
230 A bawd of eleven years’ continuance, may it please your honour.
231 BAWD.
232 My lord, this is one Lucio’s information against me. Mistress Kate
233 Keepdown was with child by him in the Duke’s time; he promised her
234 marriage. His child is a year and a quarter old come Philip and Jacob.
235 I have kept it myself; and see how he goes about to abuse me.
236 ESCALUS.
237 That fellow is a fellow of much license. Let him be called before us.
238 Away with her to prison. Go to, no more words.
239 [_Exeunt Officers with Bawd._]
240 Provost, my brother Angelo will not be altered; Claudio must die
241 tomorrow. Let him be furnished with divines, and have all charitable
242 preparation. If my brother wrought by my pity, it should not be so with
243 him.
244 PROVOST.
245 So please you, this friar hath been with him, and advised him for th’
246 entertainment of death.
247 ESCALUS.
248 Good even, good father.
249 DUKE.
250 Bliss and goodness on you!
251 ESCALUS.
252 Of whence are you?
253 DUKE.
254 Not of this country, though my chance is now
255 To use it for my time. I am a brother
256 Of gracious order, late come from the See
257 In special business from his Holiness.
258 ESCALUS.
259 What news abroad i’ th’ world?
260 DUKE.
261 None, but that there is so great a fever on goodness that the
262 dissolution of it must cure it. Novelty is only in request, and as it
263 is as dangerous to be aged in any kind of course as it is virtuous to
264 be constant in any undertaking. There is scarce truth enough alive to
265 make societies secure; but security enough to make fellowships
266 accursed. Much upon this riddle runs the wisdom of the world. This news
267 is old enough, yet it is every day’s news. I pray you, sir, of what
268 disposition was the Duke?
269 ESCALUS.
270 One that, above all other strifes, contended especially to know
271 himself.
272 DUKE.
273 What pleasure was he given to?
274 ESCALUS.
275 Rather rejoicing to see another merry, than merry at anything which
276 professed to make him rejoice. A gentleman of all temperance. But leave
277 we him to his events, with a prayer they may prove prosperous, and let
278 me desire to know how you find Claudio prepared. I am made to
279 understand that you have lent him visitation.
280 DUKE.
281 He professes to have received no sinister measure from his judge, but
282 most willingly humbles himself to the determination of justice. Yet had
283 he framed to himself, by the instruction of his frailty, many deceiving
284 promises of life, which I, by my good leisure, have discredited to him,
285 and now he is resolved to die.
286 ESCALUS.
287 You have paid the heavens your function, and the prisoner the very debt
288 of your calling. I have laboured for the poor gentleman to the
289 extremest shore of my modesty, but my brother justice have I found so
290 severe that he hath forced me to tell him he is indeed Justice.
291 DUKE.
292 If his own life answer the straitness of his proceeding, it shall
293 become him well; wherein if he chance to fail, he hath sentenced
294 himself.
295 ESCALUS.
296 I am going to visit the prisoner. Fare you well.
297 DUKE.
298 Peace be with you.
299 [_Exeunt Escalus and Provost._]
300 He who the sword of heaven will bear
301 Should be as holy as severe,
302 Pattern in himself to know,
303 Grace to stand, and virtue go;
304 More nor less to others paying
305 Than by self-offences weighing.
306 Shame to him whose cruel striking
307 Kills for faults of his own liking!
308 Twice treble shame on Angelo,
309 To weed my vice, and let his grow!
310 O, what may man within him hide,
311 Though angel on the outward side!
312 How may likeness, made in crimes,
313 Make practice on the times,
314 To draw with idle spiders’ strings
315 Most ponderous and substantial things!
316 Craft against vice I must apply.
317 With Angelo tonight shall lie
318 His old betrothed but despised.
319 So disguise shall, by th’ disguised,
320 Pay with falsehood false exacting,
321 And perform an old contracting.
322 [_Exit._]