Much Ado About Nothing

1 Enter Don John and Conrade.
2 CONRADE.
3 What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad?
4 DON JOHN.
5 There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the
6 sadness is without limit.
7 CONRADE.
8 You should hear reason.
9 DON JOHN.
10 And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?
11 CONRADE.
12 If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.
13 DON JOHN.
14 I wonder that thou (being as thou say’st thou art, born
15 under Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying
16 mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and
17 smile at no man’s jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no
18 man’s leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man’s
19 business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour.
20 CONRADE.
21 Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do
22 it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother,
23 and he hath ta’en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible
24 you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself:
25 it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.
26 DON JOHN.
27 I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace;
28 and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a
29 carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a
30 flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing
31 villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog;
32 therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I
33 would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime,
34 let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.
35 CONRADE.
36 Can you make no use of your discontent?
37 DON JOHN.
38 I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?
39 Enter Borachio.
40 What news, Borachio?
41 BORACHIO.
42 I came yonder from a great supper: the Prince your brother is
43 royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an
44 intended marriage.
45 DON JOHN.
46 Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for
47 a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?
48 BORACHIO.
49 Marry, it is your brother’s right hand.
50 DON JOHN.
51 Who? the most exquisite Claudio?
52 BORACHIO.
53 Even he.
54 DON JOHN.
55 A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?
56 BORACHIO.
57 Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
58 DON JOHN.
59 A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?
60 BORACHIO.
61 Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room,
62 comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt
63 me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the Prince should
64 woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.
65 DON JOHN.
66 Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my
67 displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I
68 can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and
69 will assist me?
70 CONRADE.
71 To the death, my lord.
72 DON JOHN.
73 Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am
74 subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go to prove what’s
75 to be done?
76 BORACHIO.
77 We’ll wait upon your Lordship.
78 [Exeunt.]