The Comedy Of Errors

1 Enter Merchant, Angelo and an Officer.
2 MERCHANT.
3 You know since Pentecost the sum is due,
4 And since I have not much importun’d you,
5 Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
6 To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage;
7 Therefore make present satisfaction,
8 Or I’ll attach you by this officer.
9 ANGELO.
10 Even just the sum that I do owe to you
11 Is growing to me by Antipholus,
12 And in the instant that I met with you
13 He had of me a chain; at five o’clock
14 I shall receive the money for the same.
15 Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,
16 I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.
17 Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus from the
18 Courtesan’s.
19 OFFICER.
20 That labour may you save. See where he comes.
21 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
22 While I go to the goldsmith’s house, go thou
23 And buy a rope’s end; that will I bestow
24 Among my wife and her confederates
25 For locking me out of my doors by day.
26 But soft, I see the goldsmith; get thee gone;
27 Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.
28 DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
29 I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a rope!
30 [_Exit Dromio._]
31 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
32 A man is well holp up that trusts to you,
33 I promised your presence and the chain,
34 But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
35 Belike you thought our love would last too long
36 If it were chain’d together, and therefore came not.
37 ANGELO.
38 Saving your merry humour, here’s the note
39 How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,
40 The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion,
41 Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
42 Than I stand debted to this gentleman.
43 I pray you, see him presently discharg’d,
44 For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.
45 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
46 I am not furnished with the present money;
47 Besides, I have some business in the town.
48 Good signior, take the stranger to my house,
49 And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
50 Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;
51 Perchance I will be there as soon as you.
52 ANGELO.
53 Then you will bring the chain to her yourself.
54 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
55 No, bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.
56 ANGELO.
57 Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?
58 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
59 And if I have not, sir, I hope you have,
60 Or else you may return without your money.
61 ANGELO.
62 Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain;
63 Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,
64 And I, to blame, have held him here too long.
65 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
66 Good Lord, you use this dalliance to excuse
67 Your breach of promise to the Porpentine.
68 I should have chid you for not bringing it,
69 But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.
70 MERCHANT.
71 The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch.
72 ANGELO.
73 You hear how he importunes me. The chain!
74 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
75 Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money.
76 ANGELO.
77 Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.
78 Either send the chain or send by me some token.
79 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
80 Fie, now you run this humour out of breath.
81 Come, where’s the chain? I pray you, let me see it.
82 MERCHANT.
83 My business cannot brook this dalliance.
84 Good sir, say whe’er you’ll answer me or no;
85 If not, I’ll leave him to the officer.
86 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
87 I answer you? What should I answer you?
88 ANGELO.
89 The money that you owe me for the chain.
90 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
91 I owe you none till I receive the chain.
92 ANGELO.
93 You know I gave it you half an hour since.
94 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
95 You gave me none. You wrong me much to say so.
96 ANGELO.
97 You wrong me more, sir, in denying it.
98 Consider how it stands upon my credit.
99 MERCHANT.
100 Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
101 OFFICER.
102 I do, and charge you in the duke’s name to obey me.
103 ANGELO.
104 This touches me in reputation.
105 Either consent to pay this sum for me,
106 Or I attach you by this officer.
107 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
108 Consent to pay thee that I never had?
109 Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st.
110 ANGELO.
111 Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer.
112 I would not spare my brother in this case
113 If he should scorn me so apparently.
114 OFFICER.
115 I do arrest you, sir. You hear the suit.
116 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
117 I do obey thee till I give thee bail.
118 But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear
119 As all the metal in your shop will answer.
120 ANGELO.
121 Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,
122 To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.
123 Enter Dromio of Syracuse from the bay.
124 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
125 Master, there’s a bark of Epidamnum
126 That stays but till her owner comes aboard,
127 And then, sir, bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,
128 I have convey’d aboard, and I have bought
129 The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitae.
130 The ship is in her trim; the merry wind
131 Blows fair from land; they stay for nought at all
132 But for their owner, master, and yourself.
133 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
134 How now? a madman? Why, thou peevish sheep,
135 What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?
136 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
137 A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.
138 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
139 Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope,
140 And told thee to what purpose and what end.
141 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
142 You sent me for a rope’s end as soon.
143 You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
144 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
145 I will debate this matter at more leisure,
146 And teach your ears to list me with more heed.
147 To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:
148 Give her this key, and tell her in the desk
149 That’s cover’d o’er with Turkish tapestry
150 There is a purse of ducats; let her send it.
151 Tell her I am arrested in the street,
152 And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave; be gone.
153 On, officer, to prison till it come.
154 [_Exeunt Merchant, Angelo, Officer and Antipholus of Ephesus._]
155 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
156 To Adriana, that is where we din’d,
157 Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband.
158 She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
159 Thither I must, although against my will,
160 For servants must their masters’ minds fulfil.
161 [_Exit._]