The Merchant Of Venice

1 Enter Launcelet and Jessica.
2 LAUNCELET.
3 Yes, truly, for look you, the sins of the father are to be laid upon
4 the children, therefore, I promise you, I fear you. I was always plain
5 with you, and so now I speak my agitation of the matter. Therefore be
6 of good cheer, for truly I think you are damn’d. There is but one hope
7 in it that can do you any good, and that is but a kind of bastard hope
8 neither.
9 JESSICA.
10 And what hope is that, I pray thee?
11 LAUNCELET.
12 Marry, you may partly hope that your father got you not, that you are
13 not the Jew’s daughter.
14 JESSICA.
15 That were a kind of bastard hope indeed; so the sins of my mother
16 should be visited upon me.
17 LAUNCELET.
18 Truly then I fear you are damn’d both by father and mother; thus when I
19 shun Scylla your father, I fall into Charybdis your mother. Well, you
20 are gone both ways.
21 JESSICA.
22 I shall be saved by my husband. He hath made me a Christian.
23 LAUNCELET.
24 Truly the more to blame he, we were Christians enow before, e’en as
25 many as could well live one by another. This making of Christians will
26 raise the price of hogs; if we grow all to be pork-eaters, we shall not
27 shortly have a rasher on the coals for money.
28 Enter Lorenzo.
29 JESSICA.
30 I’ll tell my husband, Launcelet, what you say. Here he comes.
31 LORENZO.
32 I shall grow jealous of you shortly, Launcelet, if you thus get my wife
33 into corners!
34 JESSICA.
35 Nay, you need not fear us, Lorenzo. Launcelet and I are out. He tells
36 me flatly there’s no mercy for me in heaven, because I am a Jew’s
37 daughter; and he says you are no good member of the commonwealth, for
38 in converting Jews to Christians you raise the price of pork.
39 LORENZO.
40 I shall answer that better to the commonwealth than you can the getting
41 up of the negro’s belly! The Moor is with child by you, Launcelet.
42 LAUNCELET.
43 It is much that the Moor should be more than reason; but if she be less
44 than an honest woman, she is indeed more than I took her for.
45 LORENZO.
46 How every fool can play upon the word! I think the best grace of wit
47 will shortly turn into silence, and discourse grow commendable in none
48 only but parrots. Go in, sirrah; bid them prepare for dinner.
49 LAUNCELET.
50 That is done, sir, they have all stomachs.
51 LORENZO.
52 Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper are you! Then bid them prepare dinner.
53 LAUNCELET.
54 That is done too, sir, only “cover” is the word.
55 LORENZO.
56 Will you cover, then, sir?
57 LAUNCELET.
58 Not so, sir, neither. I know my duty.
59 LORENZO.
60 Yet more quarrelling with occasion! Wilt thou show the whole wealth of
61 thy wit in an instant? I pray thee understand a plain man in his plain
62 meaning: go to thy fellows, bid them cover the table, serve in the
63 meat, and we will come in to dinner.
64 LAUNCELET.
65 For the table, sir, it shall be served in; for the meat, sir, it shall
66 be covered; for your coming in to dinner, sir, why, let it be as
67 humours and conceits shall govern.
68 [_Exit._]
69 LORENZO.
70 O dear discretion, how his words are suited!
71 The fool hath planted in his memory
72 An army of good words, and I do know
73 A many fools that stand in better place,
74 Garnish’d like him, that for a tricksy word
75 Defy the matter. How cheer’st thou, Jessica?
76 And now, good sweet, say thy opinion,
77 How dost thou like the Lord Bassanio’s wife?
78 JESSICA.
79 Past all expressing. It is very meet
80 The Lord Bassanio live an upright life,
81 For having such a blessing in his lady,
82 He finds the joys of heaven here on earth,
83 And if on earth he do not merit it,
84 In reason he should never come to heaven.
85 Why, if two gods should play some heavenly match,
86 And on the wager lay two earthly women,
87 And Portia one, there must be something else
88 Pawn’d with the other, for the poor rude world
89 Hath not her fellow.
90 LORENZO.
91 Even such a husband
92 Hast thou of me as she is for a wife.
93 JESSICA.
94 Nay, but ask my opinion too of that.
95 LORENZO.
96 I will anon. First let us go to dinner.
97 JESSICA.
98 Nay, let me praise you while I have a stomach.
99 LORENZO.
100 No pray thee, let it serve for table-talk.
101 Then howsome’er thou speak’st, ’mong other things
102 I shall digest it.
103 JESSICA.
104 Well, I’ll set you forth.
105 [_Exeunt._]