The Taming Of The Shrew

1 Enter Katherina and Grumio.
2 GRUMIO.
3 No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.
4 KATHERINA.
5 The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
6 What, did he marry me to famish me?
7 Beggars that come unto my father’s door
8 Upon entreaty have a present alms;
9 If not, elsewhere they meet with charity;
10 But I, who never knew how to entreat,
11 Nor never needed that I should entreat,
12 Am starv’d for meat, giddy for lack of sleep;
13 With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed.
14 And that which spites me more than all these wants,
15 He does it under name of perfect love;
16 As who should say, if I should sleep or eat
17 ’Twere deadly sickness, or else present death.
18 I prithee go and get me some repast;
19 I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
20 GRUMIO.
21 What say you to a neat’s foot?
22 KATHERINA.
23 ’Tis passing good; I prithee let me have it.
24 GRUMIO.
25 I fear it is too choleric a meat.
26 How say you to a fat tripe finely broil’d?
27 KATHERINA.
28 I like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me.
29 GRUMIO.
30 I cannot tell; I fear ’tis choleric.
31 What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?
32 KATHERINA.
33 A dish that I do love to feed upon.
34 GRUMIO.
35 Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.
36 KATHERINA.
37 Why then the beef, and let the mustard rest.
38 GRUMIO.
39 Nay, then I will not: you shall have the mustard,
40 Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
41 KATHERINA.
42 Then both, or one, or anything thou wilt.
43 GRUMIO.
44 Why then the mustard without the beef.
45 KATHERINA.
46 Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,
47 [_Beats him._]
48 That feed’st me with the very name of meat.
49 Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you
50 That triumph thus upon my misery!
51 Go, get thee gone, I say.
52 Enter Petruchio with a dish of meat; and Hortensio.
53 PETRUCHIO.
54 How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
55 HORTENSIO.
56 Mistress, what cheer?
57 KATHERINA.
58 Faith, as cold as can be.
59 PETRUCHIO.
60 Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
61 Here, love; thou seest how diligent I am,
62 To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee:
63 [_Sets the dish on a table._]
64 I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
65 What! not a word? Nay, then thou lov’st it not,
66 And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
67 Here, take away this dish.
68 KATHERINA.
69 I pray you, let it stand.
70 PETRUCHIO.
71 The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
72 And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.
73 KATHERINA.
74 I thank you, sir.
75 HORTENSIO.
76 Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
77 Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.
78 PETRUCHIO.
79 [_Aside._] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.
80 Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
81 Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,
82 Will we return unto thy father’s house
83 And revel it as bravely as the best,
84 With silken coats and caps, and golden rings,
85 With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things;
86 With scarfs and fans and double change of bravery,
87 With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.
88 What! hast thou din’d? The tailor stays thy leisure,
89 To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.
90 Enter Tailor.
91 Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
92 Lay forth the gown.—
93 Enter Haberdasher.
94 What news with you, sir?
95 HABERDASHER.
96 Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
97 PETRUCHIO.
98 Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
99 A velvet dish: fie, fie! ’tis lewd and filthy:
100 Why, ’tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
101 A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap:
102 Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.
103 KATHERINA.
104 I’ll have no bigger; this doth fit the time,
105 And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
106 PETRUCHIO.
107 When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
108 And not till then.
109 HORTENSIO.
110 [_Aside_] That will not be in haste.
111 KATHERINA.
112 Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
113 And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.
114 Your betters have endur’d me say my mind,
115 And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
116 My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
117 Or else my heart, concealing it, will break;
118 And rather than it shall, I will be free
119 Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.
120 PETRUCHIO.
121 Why, thou say’st true; it is a paltry cap,
122 A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie;
123 I love thee well in that thou lik’st it not.
124 KATHERINA.
125 Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
126 And it I will have, or I will have none.
127 [_Exit Haberdasher._]
128 PETRUCHIO.
129 Thy gown? Why, ay: come, tailor, let us see’t.
130 O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
131 What’s this? A sleeve? ’Tis like a demi-cannon.
132 What, up and down, carv’d like an apple tart?
133 Here’s snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
134 Like to a censer in a barber’s shop.
135 Why, what i’ devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?
136 HORTENSIO.
137 [_Aside_] I see she’s like to have neither cap nor gown.
138 TAILOR.
139 You bid me make it orderly and well,
140 According to the fashion and the time.
141 PETRUCHIO.
142 Marry, and did; but if you be remember’d,
143 I did not bid you mar it to the time.
144 Go, hop me over every kennel home,
145 For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
146 I’ll none of it: hence! make your best of it.
147 KATHERINA.
148 I never saw a better fashion’d gown,
149 More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable;
150 Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.
151 PETRUCHIO.
152 Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.
153 TAILOR.
154 She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.
155 PETRUCHIO.
156 O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread,
157 Thou thimble,
158 Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
159 Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!
160 Brav’d in mine own house with a skein of thread!
161 Away! thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,
162 Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard
163 As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st!
164 I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr’d her gown.
165 TAILOR.
166 Your worship is deceiv’d: the gown is made
167 Just as my master had direction.
168 Grumio gave order how it should be done.
169 GRUMIO.
170 I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.
171 TAILOR.
172 But how did you desire it should be made?
173 GRUMIO.
174 Marry, sir, with needle and thread.
175 TAILOR.
176 But did you not request to have it cut?
177 GRUMIO.
178 Thou hast faced many things.
179 TAILOR.
180 I have.
181 GRUMIO.
182 Face not me. Thou hast braved many men; brave not me: I will neither be
183 fac’d nor brav’d. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown;
184 but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest.
185 TAILOR.
186 Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.
187 PETRUCHIO.
188 Read it.
189 GRUMIO.
190 The note lies in ’s throat, if he say I said so.
191 TAILOR.
192 ’Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown.’
193 GRUMIO.
194 Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it
195 and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread; I said, a gown.
196 PETRUCHIO.
197 Proceed.
198 TAILOR.
199 ‘With a small compassed cape.’
200 GRUMIO.
201 I confess the cape.
202 TAILOR.
203 ‘With a trunk sleeve.’
204 GRUMIO.
205 I confess two sleeves.
206 TAILOR.
207 ‘The sleeves curiously cut.’
208 PETRUCHIO.
209 Ay, there’s the villainy.
210 GRUMIO.
211 Error i’ the bill, sir; error i’ the bill. I commanded the sleeves
212 should be cut out, and sew’d up again; and that I’ll prove upon thee,
213 though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.
214 TAILOR.
215 This is true that I say; and I had thee in place where thou shouldst
216 know it.
217 GRUMIO.
218 I am for thee straight; take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and
219 spare not me.
220 HORTENSIO.
221 God-a-mercy, Grumio! Then he shall have no odds.
222 PETRUCHIO.
223 Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.
224 GRUMIO.
225 You are i’ the right, sir; ’tis for my mistress.
226 PETRUCHIO.
227 Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.
228 GRUMIO.
229 Villain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s
230 use!
231 PETRUCHIO.
232 Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?
233 GRUMIO.
234 O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for.
235 Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use!
236 O fie, fie, fie!
237 PETRUCHIO.
238 [_Aside_] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
239 [_To Tailor._] Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.
240 HORTENSIO.
241 [_Aside to Tailor._] Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow;
242 Take no unkindness of his hasty words.
243 Away, I say! commend me to thy master.
244 [_Exit Tailor._]
245 PETRUCHIO.
246 Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father’s
247 Even in these honest mean habiliments.
248 Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor
249 For ’tis the mind that makes the body rich;
250 And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
251 So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
252 What, is the jay more precious than the lark
253 Because his feathers are more beautiful?
254 Or is the adder better than the eel
255 Because his painted skin contents the eye?
256 O no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse
257 For this poor furniture and mean array.
258 If thou account’st it shame, lay it on me;
259 And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith,
260 To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.
261 Go call my men, and let us straight to him;
262 And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;
263 There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.
264 Let’s see; I think ’tis now some seven o’clock,
265 And well we may come there by dinner-time.
266 KATHERINA.
267 I dare assure you, sir, ’tis almost two,
268 And ’twill be supper-time ere you come there.
269 PETRUCHIO.
270 It shall be seven ere I go to horse.
271 Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,
272 You are still crossing it. Sirs, let ’t alone:
273 I will not go today; and ere I do,
274 It shall be what o’clock I say it is.
275 HORTENSIO.
276 Why, so this gallant will command the sun.
277 [_Exeunt._]