The Tempest

1 Enter Caliban with a bottle, Stephano and Trinculo.
2 STEPHANO.
3 Tell not me:—when the butt is out we will drink water; not a drop
4 before: therefore bear up, and board ’em. Servant-monster, drink to me.
5 TRINCULO.
6 Servant-monster! The folly of this island! They say there’s but five
7 upon this isle; we are three of them; if th’ other two be brained like
8 us, the state totters.
9 STEPHANO.
10 Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes are almost set in thy
11 head.
12 TRINCULO.
13 Where should they be set else? He were a brave monster indeed, if they
14 were set in his tail.
15 STEPHANO.
16 My man-monster hath drown’d his tongue in sack: for my part, the sea
17 cannot drown me; I swam, ere I could recover the shore, five-and-thirty
18 leagues, off and on, by this light. Thou shalt be my lieutenant,
19 monster, or my standard.
20 TRINCULO.
21 Your lieutenant, if you list; he’s no standard.
22 STEPHANO.
23 We’ll not run, Monsieur monster.
24 TRINCULO.
25 Nor go neither. But you’ll lie like dogs, and yet say nothing neither.
26 STEPHANO.
27 Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a good moon-calf.
28 CALIBAN.
29 How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe. I’ll not serve him, he is
30 not valiant.
31 TRINCULO.
32 Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to justle a constable.
33 Why, thou deboshed fish thou, was there ever man a coward that hath
34 drunk so much sack as I today? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being
35 but half a fish and half a monster?
36 CALIBAN.
37 Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?
38 TRINCULO.
39 “Lord” quoth he! That a monster should be such a natural!
40 CALIBAN.
41 Lo, lo again! bite him to death, I prithee.
42 STEPHANO.
43 Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you prove a mutineer, the
44 next tree! The poor monster’s my subject, and he shall not suffer
45 indignity.
46 CALIBAN.
47 I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleas’d to hearken once again to
48 the suit I made to thee?
49 STEPHANO.
50 Marry. will I. Kneel and repeat it. I will stand, and so shall
51 Trinculo.
52 Enter Ariel, invisible.
53 CALIBAN.
54 As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a sorcerer, that by
55 his cunning hath cheated me of the island.
56 ARIEL.
57 Thou liest.
58 CALIBAN.
59 Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou;
60 I would my valiant master would destroy thee;
61 I do not lie.
62 STEPHANO.
63 Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in his tale, by this hand, I will
64 supplant some of your teeth.
65 TRINCULO.
66 Why, I said nothing.
67 STEPHANO.
68 Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.
69 CALIBAN.
70 I say, by sorcery he got this isle;
71 From me he got it. If thy greatness will,
72 Revenge it on him,—for I know thou dar’st;
73 But this thing dare not,—
74 STEPHANO.
75 That’s most certain.
76 CALIBAN.
77 Thou shalt be lord of it and I’ll serve thee.
78 STEPHANO.
79 How now shall this be compassed? Canst thou bring me to the party?
80 CALIBAN.
81 Yea, yea, my lord: I’ll yield him thee asleep,
82 Where thou mayst knock a nail into his head.
83 ARIEL.
84 Thou liest. Thou canst not.
85 CALIBAN.
86 What a pied ninny’s this! Thou scurvy patch!
87 I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows,
88 And take his bottle from him: when that’s gone
89 He shall drink nought but brine; for I’ll not show him
90 Where the quick freshes are.
91 STEPHANO.
92 Trinculo, run into no further danger: interrupt the monster one word
93 further, and by this hand, I’ll turn my mercy out o’ doors, and make a
94 stock-fish of thee.
95 TRINCULO.
96 Why, what did I? I did nothing. I’ll go farther off.
97 STEPHANO.
98 Didst thou not say he lied?
99 ARIEL.
100 Thou liest.
101 STEPHANO.
102 Do I so? Take thou that.
103 [_Strikes Trinculo._]
104 As you like this, give me the lie another time.
105 TRINCULO.
106 I did not give the lie. Out o’ your wits and hearing too? A pox o’ your
107 bottle! this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and
108 the devil take your fingers!
109 CALIBAN.
110 Ha, ha, ha!
111 STEPHANO.
112 Now, forward with your tale.—Prithee stand further off.
113 CALIBAN.
114 Beat him enough: after a little time,
115 I’ll beat him too.
116 STEPHANO.
117 Stand farther.—Come, proceed.
118 CALIBAN.
119 Why, as I told thee, ’tis a custom with him
120 I’ th’ afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him,
121 Having first seiz’d his books; or with a log
122 Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
123 Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember
124 First to possess his books; for without them
125 He’s but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
126 One spirit to command: they all do hate him
127 As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.
128 He has brave utensils,—for so he calls them,—
129 Which, when he has a house, he’ll deck withal.
130 And that most deeply to consider is
131 The beauty of his daughter; he himself
132 Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman
133 But only Sycorax my dam and she;
134 But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
135 As great’st does least.
136 STEPHANO.
137 Is it so brave a lass?
138 CALIBAN.
139 Ay, lord, she will become thy bed, I warrant,
140 And bring thee forth brave brood.
141 STEPHANO.
142 Monster, I will kill this man. His daughter and I will be king and
143 queen,—save our graces!—and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys.
144 Dost thou like the plot, Trinculo?
145 TRINCULO.
146 Excellent.
147 STEPHANO.
148 Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but while thou liv’st, keep a
149 good tongue in thy head.
150 CALIBAN.
151 Within this half hour will he be asleep.
152 Wilt thou destroy him then?
153 STEPHANO.
154 Ay, on mine honour.
155 ARIEL.
156 This will I tell my master.
157 CALIBAN.
158 Thou mak’st me merry. I am full of pleasure.
159 Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch
160 You taught me but while-ere?
161 STEPHANO.
162 At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any reason. Come on,
163 Trinculo, let us sing.
164 [_Sings._]
165 _Flout ’em and cout ’em,
166 and scout ’em and flout ’em:
167 Thought is free._
168 CALIBAN.
169 That’s not the tune.
170 [_Ariel plays the tune on a tabor and pipe._]
171 STEPHANO.
172 What is this same?
173 TRINCULO.
174 This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of Nobody.
175 STEPHANO.
176 If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness: if thou beest a
177 devil, take ’t as thou list.
178 TRINCULO.
179 O, forgive me my sins!
180 STEPHANO.
181 He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy upon us!
182 CALIBAN.
183 Art thou afeard?
184 STEPHANO.
185 No, monster, not I.
186 CALIBAN.
187 Be not afeard. The isle is full of noises,
188 Sounds, and sweet airs, that give delight, and hurt not.
189 Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
190 Will hum about mine ears; and sometimes voices,
191 That, if I then had wak’d after long sleep,
192 Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
193 The clouds methought would open and show riches
194 Ready to drop upon me; that, when I wak’d,
195 I cried to dream again.
196 STEPHANO.
197 This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall have my music for
198 nothing.
199 CALIBAN.
200 When Prospero is destroyed.
201 STEPHANO.
202 That shall be by and by: I remember the story.
203 TRINCULO.
204 The sound is going away. Let’s follow it, and after do our work.
205 STEPHANO.
206 Lead, monster: we’ll follow. I would I could see this taborer! he lays
207 it on. Wilt come?
208 TRINCULO.
209 I’ll follow, Stephano.
210 [_Exeunt._]