The Tragedy Of King Lear

1 Enter Kent, disguised.
2 KENT.
3 If but as well I other accents borrow,
4 That can my speech defuse, my good intent
5 May carry through itself to that full issue
6 For which I rais’d my likeness. Now, banish’d Kent,
7 If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn’d,
8 So may it come, thy master, whom thou lov’st,
9 Shall find thee full of labours.
10 Horns within. Enter King
11 Lear, Knights and Attendants.
12 LEAR.
13 Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready.
14 [_Exit an Attendant._]
15 How now! what art thou?
16 KENT.
17 A man, sir.
18 LEAR.
19 What dost thou profess? What wouldst thou with us?
20 KENT.
21 I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve him truly that
22 will put me in trust; to love him that is honest; to converse
23 with him that is wise and says little; to fear judgement; to fight
24 when I cannot choose; and to eat no fish.
25 LEAR.
26 What art thou?
27 KENT.
28 A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the King.
29 LEAR.
30 If thou be’st as poor for a subject as he’s for a king, thou art
31 poor enough. What wouldst thou?
32 KENT.
33 Service.
34 LEAR.
35 Who wouldst thou serve?
36 KENT.
37 You.
38 LEAR.
39 Dost thou know me, fellow?
40 KENT.
41 No, sir; but you have that in your countenance which I would fain
42 call master.
43 LEAR.
44 What’s that?
45 KENT.
46 Authority.
47 LEAR.
48 What services canst thou do?
49 KENT.
50 I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curious tale in
51 telling it and deliver a plain message bluntly. That which
52 ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in, and the best of
53 me is diligence.
54 LEAR.
55 How old art thou?
56 KENT.
57 Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing; nor so old to
58 dote on her for anything: I have years on my back forty-eight.
59 LEAR.
60 Follow me; thou shalt serve me. If I like thee no worse after dinner, I
61 will not part from thee yet. Dinner, ho, dinner! Where’s my knave? my
62 fool? Go you and call my fool hither.
63 [_Exit an Attendant._]
64 Enter Oswald.
65 You, you, sirrah, where’s my daughter?
66 OSWALD.
67 So please you,—
68 [_Exit._]
69 LEAR.
70 What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back.
71 [_Exit a Knight._]
72 Where’s my fool? Ho, I think the world’s asleep.
73 Re-enter Knight.
74 How now! where’s that mongrel?
75 KNIGHT.
76 He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.
77 LEAR.
78 Why came not the slave back to me when I called him?
79 KNIGHT.
80 Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner, he would not.
81 LEAR.
82 He would not?
83 KNIGHT.
84 My lord, I know not what the matter is; but to my judgement your
85 highness is not entertained with that ceremonious affection as
86 you were wont; there’s a great abatement of kindness appears as
87 well in the general dependants as in the Duke himself also, and
88 your daughter.
89 LEAR.
90 Ha! say’st thou so?
91 KNIGHT.
92 I beseech you pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken; for my duty
93 cannot be silent when I think your highness wronged.
94 LEAR.
95 Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception: I have perceived
96 a most faint neglect of late; which I have rather blamed as mine
97 own jealous curiosity than as a very pretence and purpose of
98 unkindness: I will look further into’t. But where’s my fool? I
99 have not seen him this two days.
100 KNIGHT.
101 Since my young lady’s going into France, sir, the fool hath much
102 pined away.
103 LEAR.
104 No more of that; I have noted it well. Go you and tell my
105 daughter I would speak with her.
106 [_Exit Attendant._]
107 Go you, call hither my fool.
108 [_Exit another Attendant._]
109 Re-enter Oswald.
110 O, you, sir, you, come you hither, sir: who am I, sir?
111 OSWALD.
112 My lady’s father.
113 LEAR.
114 My lady’s father! my lord’s knave: you whoreson dog! you slave! you
115 cur!
116 OSWALD.
117 I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.
118 LEAR.
119 Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?
120 [_Striking him._]
121 OSWALD.
122 I’ll not be struck, my lord.
123 KENT.
124 Nor tripp’d neither, you base football player.
125 [_Tripping up his heels._]
126 LEAR.
127 I thank thee, fellow. Thou serv’st me, and I’ll love thee.
128 KENT.
129 Come, sir, arise, away! I’ll teach you differences: away, away! If you
130 will measure your lubber’s length again, tarry; but away! go to; have
131 you wisdom? So.
132 [_Pushes Oswald out._]
133 LEAR.
134 Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there’s earnest of thy service.
135 [_Giving Kent money._]
136 Enter Fool.
137 FOOL.
138 Let me hire him too; here’s my coxcomb.
139 [_Giving Kent his cap._]
140 LEAR.
141 How now, my pretty knave, how dost thou?
142 FOOL.
143 Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.
144 KENT.
145 Why, fool?
146 FOOL.
147 Why, for taking one’s part that’s out of favour. Nay, an thou
148 canst not smile as the wind sits, thou’lt catch cold shortly:
149 there, take my coxcomb: why, this fellow has banish’d two on’s
150 daughters, and did the third a blessing against his will; if
151 thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb. How now,
152 nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!
153 LEAR.
154 Why, my boy?
155 FOOL.
156 If I gave them all my living, I’d keep my coxcombs myself. There’s
157 mine; beg another of thy daughters.
158 LEAR.
159 Take heed, sirrah, the whip.
160 FOOL.
161 Truth’s a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped out, when
162 the Lady Brach may stand by the fire and stink.
163 LEAR.
164 A pestilent gall to me!
165 FOOL.
166 Sirrah, I’ll teach thee a speech.
167 LEAR.
168 Do.
169 FOOL.
170 Mark it, nuncle:
171 Have more than thou showest,
172 Speak less than thou knowest,
173 Lend less than thou owest,
174 Ride more than thou goest,
175 Learn more than thou trowest,
176 Set less than thou throwest;
177 Leave thy drink and thy whore,
178 And keep in-a-door,
179 And thou shalt have more
180 Than two tens to a score.
181 KENT.
182 This is nothing, fool.
183 FOOL.
184 Then ’tis like the breath of an unfee’d lawyer, you gave me
185 nothing for’t. Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle?
186 LEAR.
187 Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.
188 FOOL.
189 [_to Kent._] Prithee tell him, so much the rent of his land
190 comes to: he will not believe a fool.
191 LEAR.
192 A bitter fool.
193 FOOL.
194 Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and
195 a sweet one?
196 LEAR.
197 No, lad; teach me.
198 FOOL.
199 That lord that counsell’d thee
200 To give away thy land,
201 Come place him here by me,
202 Do thou for him stand.
203 The sweet and bitter fool
204 Will presently appear;
205 The one in motley here,
206 The other found out there.
207 LEAR.
208 Dost thou call me fool, boy?
209 FOOL.
210 All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born
211 with.
212 KENT.
213 This is not altogether fool, my lord.
214 FOOL.
215 No, faith; lords and great men will not let me; if I had a
216 monopoly out, they would have part on’t and ladies too, they
217 will not let me have all the fool to myself; they’ll be
218 snatching. Nuncle, give me an egg, and I’ll give thee two
219 crowns.
220 LEAR.
221 What two crowns shall they be?
222 FOOL.
223 Why, after I have cut the egg i’ the middle and eat up the
224 meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i’
225 the middle and gav’st away both parts, thou bor’st thine ass on
226 thy back o’er the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown
227 when thou gav’st thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in
228 this, let him be whipped that first finds it so.
229 [_Singing._]
230 Fools had ne’er less grace in a year;
231 For wise men are grown foppish,
232 And know not how their wits to wear,
233 Their manners are so apish.
234 LEAR.
235 When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?
236 FOOL.
237 I have used it, nuncle, e’er since thou mad’st thy daughters thy
238 mothers; for when thou gav’st them the rod, and put’st down thine
239 own breeches,
240 [_Singing._]
241 Then they for sudden joy did weep,
242 And I for sorrow sung,
243 That such a king should play bo-peep,
244 And go the fools among.
245 Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to
246 lie; I would fain learn to lie.
247 LEAR.
248 An you lie, sirrah, we’ll have you whipped.
249 FOOL.
250 I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are: they’ll have me
251 whipped for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipped for lying;
252 and sometimes I am whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be
253 any kind o’thing than a fool: and yet I would not be thee,
254 nuncle: thou hast pared thy wit o’both sides, and left nothing
255 i’ the middle: here comes one o’ the parings.
256 Enter Goneril.
257 LEAR.
258 How now, daughter? What makes that frontlet on? Methinks you
259 are too much of late i’ the frown.
260 FOOL.
261 Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to care for
262 her frowning. Now thou art an O without a figure: I am better
263 than thou art now. I am a fool, thou art nothing. [_To Goneril._]
264 Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue. So your face bids me, though
265 you say nothing. Mum, mum,
266 He that keeps nor crust nor crum,
267 Weary of all, shall want some.
268 [_Pointing to Lear_.] That’s a shealed peascod.
269 GONERIL.
270 Not only, sir, this your all-licens’d fool,
271 But other of your insolent retinue
272 Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth
273 In rank and not-to-be-endured riots. Sir,
274 I had thought, by making this well known unto you,
275 To have found a safe redress; but now grow fearful,
276 By what yourself too late have spoke and done,
277 That you protect this course, and put it on
278 By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
279 Would not scape censure, nor the redresses sleep,
280 Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,
281 Might in their working do you that offence
282 Which else were shame, that then necessity
283 Will call discreet proceeding.
284 FOOL.
285 For you know, nuncle,
286 The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long
287 That it’s had it head bit off by it young.
288 So out went the candle, and we were left darkling.
289 LEAR.
290 Are you our daughter?
291 GONERIL.
292 Come, sir,
293 I would you would make use of that good wisdom,
294 Whereof I know you are fraught; and put away
295 These dispositions, which of late transform you
296 From what you rightly are.
297 FOOL.
298 May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse? Whoop, Jug! I
299 love thee!
300 LEAR.
301 Doth any here know me? This is not Lear;
302 Doth Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes?
303 Either his notion weakens, his discernings
304 Are lethargied. Ha! waking? ’Tis not so!
305 Who is it that can tell me who I am?
306 FOOL.
307 Lear’s shadow.
308 LEAR.
309 I would learn that; for by the marks of sovereignty, knowledge and
310 reason, I should be false persuaded I had daughters.
311 FOOL.
312 Which they will make an obedient father.
313 LEAR.
314 Your name, fair gentlewoman?
315 GONERIL.
316 This admiration, sir, is much o’ the favour
317 Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
318 To understand my purposes aright:
319 As you are old and reverend, you should be wise.
320 Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires;
321 Men so disorder’d, so debosh’d and bold
322 That this our court, infected with their manners,
323 Shows like a riotous inn. Epicurism and lust
324 Makes it more like a tavern or a brothel
325 Than a grac’d palace. The shame itself doth speak
326 For instant remedy. Be, then, desir’d
327 By her that else will take the thing she begs
328 A little to disquantity your train;
329 And the remainder that shall still depend,
330 To be such men as may besort your age,
331 Which know themselves, and you.
332 LEAR.
333 Darkness and devils!
334 Saddle my horses; call my train together.
335 Degenerate bastard! I’ll not trouble thee:
336 Yet have I left a daughter.
337 GONERIL.
338 You strike my people; and your disorder’d rabble
339 Make servants of their betters.
340 Enter Albany.
341 LEAR.
342 Woe that too late repents!—
343 [_To Albany._] O, sir, are you come?
344 Is it your will? Speak, sir.—Prepare my horses.
345 Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
346 More hideous when thou show’st thee in a child
347 Than the sea-monster!
348 ALBANY.
349 Pray, sir, be patient.
350 LEAR.
351 [_to Goneril._] Detested kite, thou liest.
352 My train are men of choice and rarest parts,
353 That all particulars of duty know;
354 And in the most exact regard support
355 The worships of their name. O most small fault,
356 How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!
357 Which, like an engine, wrench’d my frame of nature
358 From the fix’d place; drew from my heart all love,
359 And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!
360 [_Striking his head._] Beat at this gate that let thy folly in
361 And thy dear judgement out! Go, go, my people.
362 ALBANY.
363 My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant
364 Of what hath moved you.
365 LEAR.
366 It may be so, my lord.
367 Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!
368 Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
369 To make this creature fruitful!
370 Into her womb convey sterility!
371 Dry up in her the organs of increase;
372 And from her derogate body never spring
373 A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
374 Create her child of spleen, that it may live
375 And be a thwart disnatur’d torment to her!
376 Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
377 With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks;
378 Turn all her mother’s pains and benefits
379 To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
380 How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
381 To have a thankless child! Away, away!
382 [_Exit._]
383 ALBANY.
384 Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?
385 GONERIL.
386 Never afflict yourself to know more of it;
387 But let his disposition have that scope
388 That dotage gives it.
389 Re-enter Lear.
390 LEAR.
391 What, fifty of my followers at a clap?
392 Within a fortnight?
393 ALBANY.
394 What’s the matter, sir?
395 LEAR.
396 I’ll tell thee. [_To Goneril._] Life and death! I am
397 asham’d
398 That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;
399 That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,
400 Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee!
401 Th’untented woundings of a father’s curse
402 Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,
403 Beweep this cause again, I’ll pluck ye out,
404 And cast you with the waters that you lose
405 To temper clay. Ha! Let it be so.
406 I have another daughter,
407 Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:
408 When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
409 She’ll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
410 That I’ll resume the shape which thou dost think
411 I have cast off for ever.
412 [_Exeunt Lear, Kent and Attendants._]
413 GONERIL.
414 Do you mark that?
415 ALBANY.
416 I cannot be so partial, Goneril,
417 To the great love I bear you,—
418 GONERIL.
419 Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!
420 [_To the Fool._] You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.
421 FOOL.
422 Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool with thee.
423 A fox when one has caught her,
424 And such a daughter,
425 Should sure to the slaughter,
426 If my cap would buy a halter;
427 So the fool follows after.
428 [_Exit._]
429 GONERIL.
430 This man hath had good counsel.—A hundred knights!
431 ’Tis politic and safe to let him keep
432 At point a hundred knights: yes, that on every dream,
433 Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,
434 He may enguard his dotage with their powers,
435 And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!
436 ALBANY.
437 Well, you may fear too far.
438 GONERIL.
439 Safer than trust too far:
440 Let me still take away the harms I fear,
441 Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.
442 What he hath utter’d I have writ my sister:
443 If she sustain him and his hundred knights,
444 When I have show’d th’unfitness,—
445 Re-enter Oswald.
446 How now, Oswald!
447 What, have you writ that letter to my sister?
448 OSWALD.
449 Ay, madam.
450 GONERIL.
451 Take you some company, and away to horse:
452 Inform her full of my particular fear;
453 And thereto add such reasons of your own
454 As may compact it more. Get you gone;
455 And hasten your return.
456 [_Exit Oswald._]
457 No, no, my lord!
458 This milky gentleness and course of yours,
459 Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,
460 You are much more attask’d for want of wisdom
461 Than prais’d for harmful mildness.
462 ALBANY.
463 How far your eyes may pierce I cannot tell:
464 Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.
465 GONERIL.
466 Nay then,—
467 ALBANY.
468 Well, well; the event.
469 [_Exeunt._]