The Tragedy Of King Lear

1 Enter Kent and Oswald,
2 severally.
3 OSWALD.
4 Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?
5 KENT.
6 Ay.
7 OSWALD.
8 Where may we set our horses?
9 KENT.
10 I’ the mire.
11 OSWALD.
12 Prithee, if thou lov’st me, tell me.
13 KENT.
14 I love thee not.
15 OSWALD.
16 Why then, I care not for thee.
17 KENT.
18 If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care for me.
19 OSWALD.
20 Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
21 KENT.
22 Fellow, I know thee.
23 OSWALD.
24 What dost thou know me for?
25 KENT.
26 A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud,
27 shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,
28 worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson,
29 glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue;
30 one trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of
31 good service, and art nothing but the composition of a
32 knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel
33 bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou
34 deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
35 OSWALD.
36 Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one that’s
37 neither known of thee nor knows thee?
38 KENT.
39 What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou knowest me! Is
40 it two days ago since I tripped up thy heels and beat thee before
41 the King? Draw, you rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon
42 shines; I’ll make a sop o’ the moonshine of you: draw, you
43 whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw!
44 [_Drawing his sword._]
45 OSWALD.
46 Away! I have nothing to do with thee.
47 KENT.
48 Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the King; and
49 take vanity the puppet’s part against the royalty of her father:
50 draw, you rogue, or I’ll so carbonado your shanks:—draw, you rascal;
51 come your ways!
52 OSWALD.
53 Help, ho! murder! help!
54 KENT.
55 Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat slave, strike!
56 [_Beating him._]
57 OSWALD.
58 Help, ho! murder! murder!
59 Enter Edmund, Cornwall, Regan,
60 Gloucester and Servants.
61 EDMUND.
62 How now! What’s the matter? Part!
63 KENT.
64 With you, goodman boy, if you please: come, I’ll flesh ye; come
65 on, young master.
66 GLOUCESTER.
67 Weapons! arms! What’s the matter here?
68 CORNWALL.
69 Keep peace, upon your lives, he dies that strikes again. What is the
70 matter?
71 REGAN.
72 The messengers from our sister and the King.
73 CORNWALL.
74 What is your difference? Speak.
75 OSWALD.
76 I am scarce in breath, my lord.
77 KENT.
78 No marvel, you have so bestirr’d your valour. You cowardly
79 rascal, nature disclaims in thee; a tailor made thee.
80 CORNWALL.
81 Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man?
82 KENT.
83 Ay, a tailor, sir: a stonecutter or a painter could not have
84 made him so ill, though he had been but two years at the trade.
85 CORNWALL.
86 Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?
87 OSWALD.
88 This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared at suit of his grey
89 beard,—
90 KENT.
91 Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My lord, if you’ll
92 give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar and
93 daub the walls of a jakes with him. Spare my grey beard, you wagtail?
94 CORNWALL.
95 Peace, sirrah!
96 You beastly knave, know you no reverence?
97 KENT.
98 Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege.
99 CORNWALL.
100 Why art thou angry?
101 KENT.
102 That such a slave as this should wear a sword,
103 Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,
104 Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain
105 Which are too intrince t’unloose; smooth every passion
106 That in the natures of their lords rebel;
107 Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods;
108 Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks
109 With every gale and vary of their masters,
110 Knowing naught, like dogs, but following.
111 A plague upon your epileptic visage!
112 Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?
113 Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain,
114 I’d drive ye cackling home to Camelot.
115 CORNWALL.
116 What, art thou mad, old fellow?
117 GLOUCESTER.
118 How fell you out? Say that.
119 KENT.
120 No contraries hold more antipathy
121 Than I and such a knave.
122 CORNWALL.
123 Why dost thou call him knave? What is his fault?
124 KENT.
125 His countenance likes me not.
126 CORNWALL.
127 No more perchance does mine, or his, or hers.
128 KENT.
129 Sir, ’tis my occupation to be plain:
130 I have seen better faces in my time
131 Than stands on any shoulder that I see
132 Before me at this instant.
133 CORNWALL.
134 This is some fellow
135 Who, having been prais’d for bluntness, doth affect
136 A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb
137 Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he,
138 An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth!
139 An they will take it, so; if not, he’s plain.
140 These kind of knaves I know which in this plainness
141 Harbour more craft and more corrupter ends
142 Than twenty silly-ducking observants
143 That stretch their duties nicely.
144 KENT.
145 Sir, in good faith, in sincere verity,
146 Under th’allowance of your great aspect,
147 Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire
148 On flickering Phoebus’ front,—
149 CORNWALL.
150 What mean’st by this?
151 KENT.
152 To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much. I know,
153 sir, I am no flatterer: he that beguiled you in a plain accent
154 was a plain knave; which, for my part, I will not be, though I
155 should win your displeasure to entreat me to’t.
156 CORNWALL.
157 What was the offence you gave him?
158 OSWALD.
159 I never gave him any:
160 It pleas’d the King his master very late
161 To strike at me, upon his misconstruction;
162 When he, compact, and flattering his displeasure,
163 Tripp’d me behind; being down, insulted, rail’d
164 And put upon him such a deal of man,
165 That worthied him, got praises of the King
166 For him attempting who was self-subdu’d;
167 And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit,
168 Drew on me here again.
169 KENT.
170 None of these rogues and cowards
171 But Ajax is their fool.
172 CORNWALL.
173 Fetch forth the stocks!
174 You stubborn ancient knave, you reverent braggart,
175 We’ll teach you.
176 KENT.
177 Sir, I am too old to learn:
178 Call not your stocks for me: I serve the King;
179 On whose employment I was sent to you:
180 You shall do small respect, show too bold malice
181 Against the grace and person of my master,
182 Stocking his messenger.
183 CORNWALL.
184 Fetch forth the stocks!
185 As I have life and honour, there shall he sit till noon.
186 REGAN.
187 Till noon! Till night, my lord; and all night too!
188 KENT.
189 Why, madam, if I were your father’s dog,
190 You should not use me so.
191 REGAN.
192 Sir, being his knave, I will.
193 [_Stocks brought out._]
194 CORNWALL.
195 This is a fellow of the selfsame colour
196 Our sister speaks of. Come, bring away the stocks!
197 GLOUCESTER.
198 Let me beseech your grace not to do so:
199 His fault is much, and the good King his master
200 Will check him for’t: your purpos’d low correction
201 Is such as basest and contemned’st wretches
202 For pilferings and most common trespasses,
203 Are punish’d with. The King must take it ill
204 That he, so slightly valued in his messenger,
205 Should have him thus restrained.
206 CORNWALL.
207 I’ll answer that.
208 REGAN.
209 My sister may receive it much more worse,
210 To have her gentleman abus’d, assaulted,
211 For following her affairs. Put in his legs.
212 [_Kent is put in the
213 stocks._]
214 CORNWALL.
215 Come, my good lord, away.
216 [_Exeunt all but Gloucester and Kent._]
217 GLOUCESTER.
218 I am sorry for thee, friend; ’tis the Duke’s pleasure,
219 Whose disposition, all the world well knows,
220 Will not be rubb’d nor stopp’d; I’ll entreat for thee.
221 KENT.
222 Pray do not, sir: I have watch’d, and travell’d hard;
223 Some time I shall sleep out, the rest I’ll whistle.
224 A good man’s fortune may grow out at heels:
225 Give you good morrow!
226 GLOUCESTER.
227 The Duke’s to blame in this: ’twill be ill taken.
228 [_Exit._]
229 KENT.
230 Good King, that must approve the common saw,
231 Thou out of heaven’s benediction com’st
232 To the warm sun.
233 Approach, thou beacon to this under globe,
234 That by thy comfortable beams I may
235 Peruse this letter. Nothing almost sees miracles
236 But misery. I know ’tis from Cordelia,
237 Who hath most fortunately been inform’d
238 Of my obscured course. And shall find time
239 From this enormous state, seeking to give
240 Losses their remedies. All weary and o’erwatch’d,
241 Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold
242 This shameful lodging.
243 Fortune, good night: smile once more, turn thy wheel!
244 [_He sleeps._]