All’s Well That Ends Well

1 Enter first Lord with five or six Soldiers in ambush.
2 FIRST LORD.
3 He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner. When you sally upon
4 him, speak what terrible language you will; though you understand it
5 not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to understand him,
6 unless someone among us, whom we must produce for an interpreter.
7 FIRST SOLDIER.
8 Good captain, let me be th’ interpreter.
9 FIRST LORD.
10 Art not acquainted with him? Knows he not thy voice?
11 FIRST SOLDIER.
12 No sir, I warrant you.
13 FIRST LORD.
14 But what linsey-woolsey has thou to speak to us again?
15 FIRST SOLDIER.
16 E’en such as you speak to me.
17 FIRST LORD.
18 He must think us some band of strangers i’ the adversary’s
19 entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages,
20 therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy; not to know what
21 we speak one to another, so we seem to know, is to know straight our
22 purpose: choughs’ language, gabble enough, and good enough. As for you,
23 interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch, ho! Here he comes;
24 to beguile two hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the lies
25 he forges.
26 Enter Parolles.
27 PAROLLES.
28 Ten o’clock. Within these three hours ’twill be time enough to go home.
29 What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive invention that
30 carries it. They begin to smoke me, and disgraces have of late knock’d
31 too often at my door. I find my tongue is too foolhardy, but my heart
32 hath the fear of Mars before it, and of his creatures, not daring the
33 reports of my tongue.
34 FIRST LORD.
35 [_Aside._] This is the first truth that e’er thine own tongue was
36 guilty of.
37 PAROLLES.
38 What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery of this drum,
39 being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had no such
40 purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in exploit;
41 yet slight ones will not carry it. They will say “Came you off with so
42 little?” and great ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what’s the
43 instance? Tongue, I must put you into a butter-woman’s mouth, and buy
44 myself another of Bajazet’s mule, if you prattle me into these perils.
45 FIRST LORD.
46 [_Aside._] Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that he is?
47 PAROLLES.
48 I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn, or the
49 breaking of my Spanish sword.
50 FIRST LORD.
51 [_Aside._] We cannot afford you so.
52 PAROLLES.
53 Or the baring of my beard, and to say it was in stratagem.
54 FIRST LORD.
55 [_Aside._] ’Twould not do.
56 PAROLLES.
57 Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.
58 FIRST LORD.
59 [_Aside._] Hardly serve.
60 PAROLLES.
61 Though I swore I leap’d from the window of the citadel,—
62 FIRST LORD.
63 [_Aside._] How deep?
64 PAROLLES.
65 Thirty fathom.
66 FIRST LORD.
67 [_Aside._] Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.
68 PAROLLES.
69 I would I had any drum of the enemy’s; I would swear I recover’d it.
70 FIRST LORD.
71 [_Aside._] You shall hear one anon.
72 PAROLLES.
73 A drum now of the enemy’s!
74 [_Alarum within._]
75 FIRST LORD.
76 _Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo._
77 ALL.
78 _Cargo, cargo, cargo, villianda par corbo, cargo._
79 [_They seize and blindfold him._]
80 PAROLLES.
81 O, ransom, ransom! Do not hide mine eyes.
82 FIRST SOLDIER.
83 _Boskos thromuldo boskos._
84 PAROLLES.
85 I know you are the Muskos’ regiment,
86 And I shall lose my life for want of language.
87 If there be here German, or Dane, Low Dutch,
88 Italian, or French, let him speak to me,
89 I’ll discover that which shall undo the Florentine.
90 FIRST SOLDIER.
91 _Boskos vauvado._ I understand thee, and can speak thy tongue.
92 _Kerelybonto._ Sir, Betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards
93 are at thy bosom.
94 PAROLLES.
95 O!
96 FIRST SOLDIER.
97 O, pray, pray, pray!
98 _Manka revania dulche._
99 FIRST LORD.
100 _Oscorbidulchos volivorco._
101 FIRST SOLDIER.
102 The General is content to spare thee yet;
103 And, hoodwink’d as thou art, will lead thee on
104 To gather from thee. Haply thou mayst inform
105 Something to save thy life.
106 PAROLLES.
107 O, let me live,
108 And all the secrets of our camp I’ll show,
109 Their force, their purposes; nay, I’ll speak that
110 Which you will wonder at.
111 FIRST SOLDIER.
112 But wilt thou faithfully?
113 PAROLLES.
114 If I do not, damn me.
115 FIRST SOLDIER.
116 _Acordo linta._
117 Come on; thou art granted space.
118 [_Exit, with Parolles guarded._]
119 A short alarum within.
120 FIRST LORD.
121 Go tell the Count Rossillon and my brother
122 We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled
123 Till we do hear from them.
124 SECOND SOLDIER.
125 Captain, I will.
126 FIRST LORD.
127 ’A will betray us all unto ourselves;
128 Inform on that.
129 SECOND SOLDIER.
130 So I will, sir.
131 FIRST LORD.
132 Till then I’ll keep him dark, and safely lock’d.
133 [_Exeunt._]