The Merry Wives Of Windsor

1 Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple.
2 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
3 What, John Rugby!
4 Enter Rugby.
5 I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master,
6 Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in
7 the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s
8 English.
9 RUGBY.
10 I’ll go watch.
11 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
12 Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the
13 latter end of a sea-coal fire.
14 [_Exit Rugby._]
15 An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house
16 withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate. His worst
17 fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way,
18 but nobody but has his fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say
19 your name is?
20 SIMPLE.
21 Ay, for fault of a better.
22 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
23 And Master Slender’s your master?
24 SIMPLE.
25 Ay, forsooth.
26 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
27 Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?
28 SIMPLE.
29 No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow
30 beard, a Cain-coloured beard.
31 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
32 A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
33 SIMPLE.
34 Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between
35 this and his head. He hath fought with a warrener.
36 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
37 How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as
38 it were, and strut in his gait?
39 SIMPLE.
40 Yes, indeed, does he.
41 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
42 Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans
43 I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
44 Enter Rugby.
45 RUGBY
46 Out, alas! Here comes my master.
47 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
48 We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man, go into this
49 closet. He will not stay long.
50 [_Simple steps into the closet._]
51 What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my
52 master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home.
53 [_Exit Rugby._]
54 [_Sings_.] _And down, down, adown-a, etc._
55 Enter Doctor Caius.
56 CAIUS
57 Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in
58 my closet _une boîtine verte_, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I
59 speak? A green-a box.
60 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
61 Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.
62 [_Aside_.] I am glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young
63 man, he would have been horn-mad.
64 CAIUS.
65 _Fe, fe, fe fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour—la
66 grande affaire._
67 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
68 Is it this, sir?
69 CAIUS.
70 _Oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _Dépêche_, quickly—Vere is dat knave
71 Rugby?
72 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
73 What, John Rugby, John!
74 Enter Rugby.
75 RUGBY
76 Here, sir.
77 CAIUS.
78 You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier,
79 and come after my heel to the court.
80 RUGBY.
81 ’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
82 CAIUS.
83 By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! _Qu’ay j’oublié?_ Dere is some
84 simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
85 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
86 Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!
87 CAIUS.
88 _O diable, diable!_ Vat is in my closet? Villainy! _Larron!_ [_Pulling
89 Simple out_.] Rugby, my rapier!
90 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
91 Good master, be content.
92 CAIUS.
93 Wherefore shall I be content-a?
94 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
95 The young man is an honest man.
96 CAIUS.
97 What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest man dat
98 shall come in my closet.
99 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
100 I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it. He came of
101 an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
102 CAIUS.
103 Vell?
104 SIMPLE.
105 Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—
106 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
107 Peace, I pray you.
108 CAIUS.
109 Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.
110 SIMPLE.
111 To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to
112 Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.
113 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
114 This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and
115 need not.
116 CAIUS.
117 Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, _baille_ me some paper.—Tarry you a
118 little-a while.
119 [_Writes._]
120 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
121 [_Aside to Simple_.] I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been throughly
122 moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
123 notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the
124 very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my
125 master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
126 scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself—
127 SIMPLE.
128 [_Aside to Mistress Quickly_.] ’Tis a great charge to come under one
129 body’s hand.
130 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
131 [_Aside to Simple_.] Are you avised o’ that? You shall find it a great
132 charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell
133 you in your ear, I would have no words of it—my master himself is in
134 love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s
135 mind. That’s neither here nor there.
136 CAIUS.
137 You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a
138 shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will teach a scurvy
139 jackanape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone, it is not good you
140 tarry here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar, he shall not
141 have a stone to throw at his dog.
142 [_Exit Simple._]
143 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
144 Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
145 CAIUS.
146 It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne
147 Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have
148 appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will
149 myself have Anne Page.
150 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
151 Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks
152 leave to prate. What, the good-year!
153 CAIUS.
154 Rugby, come to the court with me. [_To Mistress Quickly_.] By gar, if I
155 have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my
156 heels, Rugby.
157 [_Exeunt Caius and Rugby._]
158 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
159 You shall have An—fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for
160 that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do, nor
161 can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
162 FENTON.
163 [_Within_.] Who’s within there, ho?
164 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
165 Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
166 Enter Fenton.
167 FENTON
168 How now, good woman? How dost thou?
169 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
170 The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
171 FENTON.
172 What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
173 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
174 In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that
175 is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.
176 FENTON.
177 Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not lose my suit?
178 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
179 Troth, sir, all is in His hands above. But notwithstanding, Master
180 Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a
181 wart above your eye?
182 FENTON.
183 Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
184 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
185 Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another Nan! But, I
186 detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of
187 that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed,
188 she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you—well, go to.
189 FENTON.
190 Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee. Let me have
191 thy voice in my behalf. If thou seest her before me, commend me.
192 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
193 Will I? I’ faith, that we will! And I will tell your worship more of
194 the wart the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.
195 FENTON.
196 Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.
197 MISTRESS QUICKLY.
198 Farewell to your worship.
199 [_Exit Fenton._]
200 Truly, an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him not, for I know Anne’s
201 mind as well as another does. Out upon ’t, what have I forgot?
202 [_Exit._]