The Tempest

1 Enter Caliban with a burden of wood. A noise of thunder heard.
2 CALIBAN.
3 All the infections that the sun sucks up
4 From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him
5 By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me,
6 And yet I needs must curse. But they’ll nor pinch,
7 Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i’ the mire,
8 Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark
9 Out of my way, unless he bid ’em; but
10 For every trifle are they set upon me,
11 Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me,
12 And after bite me; then like hedgehogs which
13 Lie tumbling in my barefoot way, and mount
14 Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I
15 All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues
16 Do hiss me into madness.
17 Enter Trinculo.
18 Lo, now, lo!
19 Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
20 For bringing wood in slowly. I’ll fall flat;
21 Perchance he will not mind me.
22 TRINCULO.
23 Here’s neither bush nor shrub to bear off any weather at all, and
24 another storm brewing; I hear it sing i’ th’ wind. Yond same black
25 cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul bombard that would shed his
26 liquor. If it should thunder as it did before, I know not where to hide
27 my head: yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by pailfuls. What have
28 we here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish;
29 a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind of not of the newest
30 Poor-John. A strange fish! Were I in England now, as once I was, and
31 had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a
32 piece of silver: there would this monster make a man; any strange beast
33 there makes a man. When they will not give a doit to relieve a lame
34 beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Legg’d like a man,
35 and his fins like arms! Warm, o’ my troth! I do now let loose my
36 opinion, hold it no longer: this is no fish, but an islander, that hath
37 lately suffered by thunderbolt. [_Thunder._] Alas, the storm is come
38 again! My best way is to creep under his gaberdine; there is no other
39 shelter hereabout: misery acquaints a man with strange bed-fellows. I
40 will here shroud till the dregs of the storm be past.
41 Enter Stephano singing; a bottle in his hand.
42 STEPHANO.
43 _I shall no more to sea, to sea,
44 Here shall I die ashore—_
45 This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral.
46 Well, here’s my comfort.
47 [_Drinks._]
48 _The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I,
49 The gunner, and his mate,
50 Lov’d Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery,
51 But none of us car’d for Kate:
52 For she had a tongue with a tang,
53 Would cry to a sailor “Go hang!”
54 She lov’d not the savour of tar nor of pitch,
55 Yet a tailor might scratch her where’er she did itch.
56 Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang._
57 This is a scurvy tune too: but here’s my comfort.
58 [_Drinks._]
59 CALIBAN.
60 Do not torment me: O!
61 STEPHANO.
62 What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon ’s with
63 savages and men of Ind? Ha? I have not scap’d drowning, to be afeard
64 now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever
65 went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall be said so
66 again, while Stephano breathes at’ nostrils.
67 CALIBAN.
68 The spirit torments me: O!
69 STEPHANO.
70 This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got, as I
71 take it, an ague. Where the devil should he learn our language? I will
72 give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him and
73 keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he’s a present for any
74 emperor that ever trod on neat’s-leather.
75 CALIBAN.
76 Do not torment me, prithee; I’ll bring my wood home faster.
77 STEPHANO.
78 He’s in his fit now, and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste
79 of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to
80 remove his fit. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not
81 take too much for him. He shall pay for him that hath him, and that
82 soundly.
83 CALIBAN.
84 Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon,
85 I know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.
86 STEPHANO.
87 Come on your ways. Open your mouth; here is that which will give
88 language to you, cat. Open your mouth. This will shake your shaking, I
89 can tell you, and that soundly. [_gives Caliban a drink_] You cannot
90 tell who’s your friend: open your chaps again.
91 TRINCULO.
92 I should know that voice: it should be—but he is drowned; and these are
93 devils. O, defend me!
94 STEPHANO.
95 Four legs and two voices; a most delicate monster! His forward voice
96 now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul
97 speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him,
98 I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I will pour some in thy other mouth.
99 TRINCULO.
100 Stephano!
101 STEPHANO.
102 Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy! mercy!
103 This is a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I
104 have no long spoon.
105 TRINCULO.
106 Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me, and speak to me; for I am
107 Trinculo—be not afeared—thy good friend Trinculo.
108 STEPHANO.
109 If thou beest Trinculo, come forth. I’ll pull thee by the lesser legs:
110 if any be Trinculo’s legs, these are they. Thou art very Trinculo
111 indeed! How cam’st thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? Can he vent
112 Trinculos?
113 TRINCULO.
114 I took him to be kill’d with a thunderstroke. But art thou not drown’d,
115 Stephano? I hope now thou are not drown’d. Is the storm overblown? I
116 hid me under the dead moon-calf’s gaberdine for fear of the storm. And
117 art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans scap’d!
118 STEPHANO.
119 Prithee, do not turn me about. My stomach is not constant.
120 CALIBAN.
121 [_Aside._] These be fine things, an if they be not sprites.
122 That’s a brave god, and bears celestial liquor.
123 I will kneel to him.
124 STEPHANO.
125 How didst thou scape? How cam’st thou hither? Swear by this bottle how
126 thou cam’st hither—I escaped upon a butt of sack, which the sailors
127 heaved o’erboard, by this bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree
128 with mine own hands, since I was cast ashore.
129 CALIBAN.
130 I’ll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject, for the liquor is
131 not earthly.
132 STEPHANO.
133 Here. Swear then how thou escapedst.
134 TRINCULO.
135 Swum ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a duck, I’ll be sworn.
136 STEPHANO.
137 Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made
138 like a goose.
139 TRINCULO.
140 O Stephano, hast any more of this?
141 STEPHANO.
142 The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by th’ seaside, where my
143 wine is hid. How now, moon-calf! How does thine ague?
144 CALIBAN.
145 Hast thou not dropped from heaven?
146 STEPHANO.
147 Out o’ the moon, I do assure thee: I was the Man in the Moon, when time
148 was.
149 CALIBAN.
150 I have seen thee in her, and I do adore thee. My mistress showed me
151 thee, and thy dog, and thy bush.
152 STEPHANO.
153 Come, swear to that. Kiss the book. I will furnish it anon with new
154 contents. Swear.
155 TRINCULO.
156 By this good light, this is a very shallow monster. I afeard of him? A
157 very weak monster. The Man i’ the Moon! A most poor credulous monster!
158 Well drawn, monster, in good sooth!
159 CALIBAN.
160 I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’ the island; and I will kiss thy
161 foot. I prithee, be my god.
162 TRINCULO.
163 By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster. When ’s god’s
164 asleep, he’ll rob his bottle.
165 CALIBAN.
166 I’ll kiss thy foot. I’ll swear myself thy subject.
167 STEPHANO.
168 Come on, then; down, and swear.
169 TRINCULO.
170 I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster. A most
171 scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to beat him,—
172 STEPHANO.
173 Come, kiss.
174 TRINCULO.
175 But that the poor monster’s in drink. An abominable monster!
176 CALIBAN.
177 I’ll show thee the best springs; I’ll pluck thee berries;
178 I’ll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.
179 A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
180 I’ll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
181 Thou wondrous man.
182 TRINCULO.
183 A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard!
184 CALIBAN.
185 I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;
186 And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;
187 Show thee a jay’s nest, and instruct thee how
188 To snare the nimble marmoset; I’ll bring thee
189 To clustering filberts, and sometimes I’ll get thee
190 Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?
191 STEPHANO.
192 I prithee now, lead the way without any more talking. Trinculo, the
193 King and all our company else being drowned, we will inherit here.
194 Here, bear my bottle. Fellow Trinculo, we’ll fill him by and by again.
195 CALIBAN.
196 [_Sings drunkenly._] _Farewell, master; farewell, farewell!_
197 TRINCULO.
198 A howling monster, a drunken monster.
199 CALIBAN.
200 _No more dams I’ll make for fish;
201 Nor fetch in firing
202 At requiring,
203 Nor scrape trenchering, nor wash dish;
204 ’Ban ’Ban, Cacaliban,
205 Has a new master—Get a new man._
206 Freedom, high-day! high-day, freedom! freedom,
207 high-day, freedom!
208 STEPHANO.
209 O brave monster! lead the way.
210 [_Exeunt._]