The Merry Wives Of Windsor

1 Enter Doctor Caius and Rugby.
2 CAIUS.
3 Jack Rugby!
4 RUGBY.
5 Sir?
6 CAIUS.
7 Vat is de clock, Jack?
8 RUGBY.
9 ’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
10 CAIUS.
11 By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. He has pray his Pible
12 well dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he
13 be come.
14 RUGBY.
15 He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
16 CAIUS.
17 By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier,
18 Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
19 RUGBY.
20 Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
21 CAIUS.
22 Villainy, take your rapier.
23 RUGBY.
24 Forbear; here’s company.
25 Enter Page, Shallow, Slender and Host.
26 HOST
27 God bless thee, bully doctor!
28 SHALLOW.
29 God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
30 PAGE.
31 Now, good Master Doctor!
32 SLENDER.
33 Give you good morrow, sir.
34 CAIUS.
35 Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
36 HOST.
37 To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee
38 here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy
39 reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he
40 dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Aesculapius, my Galen, my
41 heart of elder, ha? Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
42 CAIUS.
43 By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld. He is not show his
44 face.
45 HOST.
46 Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of Greece, my boy!
47 CAIUS.
48 I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree
49 hours for him, and he is no come.
50 SHALLOW.
51 He is the wiser man, Master doctor. He is a curer of souls, and you a
52 curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go against the hair of your
53 professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
54 PAGE.
55 Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a
56 man of peace.
57 SHALLOW.
58 Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see
59 a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and
60 doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in
61 us. We are the sons of women, Master Page.
62 PAGE.
63 ’Tis true, Master Shallow.
64 SHALLOW.
65 It will be found so, Master Page.—Master Doctor Caius, I come to fetch
66 you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a wise
67 physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient
68 churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor.
69 HOST.
70 Pardon, guest justice.—A word, Monsieur Mockwater.
71 CAIUS.
72 Mockvater? Vat is dat?
73 HOST.
74 Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
75 CAIUS.
76 By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog
77 priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
78 HOST.
79 He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
80 CAIUS.
81 Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?
82 HOST.
83 That is, he will make thee amends.
84 CAIUS.
85 By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar, me vill
86 have it.
87 HOST.
88 And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
89 CAIUS.
90 Me tank you for dat.
91 HOST.
92 And, moreover, bully—but first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke
93 Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
94 PAGE
95 [_Aside to Host_.] Sir Hugh is there, is he?
96 HOST.
97 [_Aside to Page_.] He is there. See what humour he is in; and I will
98 bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
99 SHALLOW.
100 [_Aside to Host_.] We will do it.
101 PAGE, SHALLOW and SLENDER
102 Adieu, good Master Doctor.
103 [_Exeunt Page, Shallow and Slender._]
104 CAIUS
105 By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a jackanape to Anne
106 Page.
107 HOST.
108 Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler. Go
109 about the fields with me through Frogmore. I will bring thee where
110 Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting, and thou shalt woo
111 her. Cried game! Said I well?
112 CAIUS.
113 By gar, me tank you for dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a
114 you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
115 patients.
116 HOST.
117 For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?
118 CAIUS.
119 By gar, ’tis good; vell said.
120 HOST.
121 Let us wag, then.
122 CAIUS.
123 Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
124 [_Exeunt._]