The Merry Wives Of Windsor

1 Enter Mistress Page following Robin.
2 MISTRESS PAGE.
3 Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You were wont to be a follower, but
4 now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye
5 your master’s heels?
6 ROBIN.
7 I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a
8 dwarf.
9 MISTRESS PAGE.
10 O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see you’ll be a courtier.
11 Enter Ford.
12 FORD
13 Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
14 MISTRESS PAGE.
15 Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?
16 FORD.
17 Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think
18 if your husbands were dead you two would marry.
19 MISTRESS PAGE.
20 Be sure of that—two other husbands.
21 FORD.
22 Where had you this pretty weathercock?
23 MISTRESS PAGE.
24 I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What
25 do you call your knight’s name, sirrah?
26 ROBIN.
27 Sir John Falstaff.
28 FORD.
29 Sir John Falstaff!
30 MISTRESS PAGE.
31 He, he; I can never hit on’s name. There is such a league between my
32 good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?
33 FORD.
34 Indeed she is.
35 MISTRESS PAGE.
36 By your leave, sir, I am sick till I see her.
37 [_Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin._]
38 FORD
39 Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure, they
40 sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
41 mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces
42 out his wife’s inclination, he gives her folly motion and advantage.
43 And now she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her. A man may
44 hear this shower sing in the wind. And Falstaff’s boy with her! Good
45 plots they are laid, and our revolted wives share damnation together.
46 Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of
47 modesty from the so-seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a
48 secure and wilful Actaeon, and to these violent proceedings all my
49 neighbours shall cry aim. [_Clock strikes_.] The clock gives me my cue,
50 and my assurance bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I shall
51 be rather praised for this than mocked, for it is as positive as the
52 earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.
53 Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius and Rugby.
54 SHALLOW, PAGE, etc.
55 Well met, Master Ford.
56 FORD.
57 Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go
58 with me.
59 SHALLOW.
60 I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
61 SLENDER.
62 And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I
63 would not break with her for more money than I’ll speak of.
64 SHALLOW.
65 We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender,
66 and this day we shall have our answer.
67 SLENDER.
68 I hope I have your good will, father Page.
69 PAGE.
70 You have, Master Slender, I stand wholly for you.—But my wife, Master
71 doctor, is for you altogether.
72 CAIUS.
73 Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me! My nursh-a Quickly tell me so
74 mush.
75 HOST.
76 What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes
77 of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May.
78 He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his buttons he will carry
79 ’t.
80 PAGE.
81 Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having. He
82 kept company with the wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a
83 region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes
84 with the finger of my substance. If he take her, let him take her
85 simply. The wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not
86 that way.
87 FORD.
88 I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner. Besides
89 your cheer, you shall have sport: I will show you a monster. Master
90 Doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh.
91 SHALLOW.
92 Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer wooing at Master Page’s.
93 [_Exeunt Shallow and Slender._]
94 CAIUS
95 Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.
96 [_Exit Rugby._]
97 HOST
98 Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink
99 canary with him.
100 [_Exit Host._]
101 FORD
102 [_Aside_.] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I’ll make
103 him dance.—Will you go, gentles?
104 ALL.
105 Have with you to see this monster.
106 [_Exeunt._]