Troilus And Cressida

1 Music sounds within. Enter Pandarus and a Servant.
2 PANDARUS.
3 Friend, you—pray you, a word. Do you not follow the young Lord Paris?
4 SERVANT.
5 Ay, sir, when he goes before me.
6 PANDARUS.
7 You depend upon him, I mean?
8 SERVANT.
9 Sir, I do depend upon the Lord.
10 PANDARUS.
11 You depend upon a notable gentleman; I must needs praise him.
12 SERVANT.
13 The Lord be praised!
14 PANDARUS.
15 You know me, do you not?
16 SERVANT.
17 Faith, sir, superficially.
18 PANDARUS.
19 Friend, know me better: I am the Lord Pandarus.
20 SERVANT.
21 I hope I shall know your honour better.
22 PANDARUS.
23 I do desire it.
24 SERVANT.
25 You are in the state of grace?
26 PANDARUS.
27 Grace? Not so, friend; honour and lordship are my titles. What music is
28 this?
29 SERVANT.
30 I do but partly know, sir; it is music in parts.
31 PANDARUS.
32 Know you the musicians?
33 SERVANT.
34 Wholly, sir.
35 PANDARUS.
36 Who play they to?
37 SERVANT.
38 To the hearers, sir.
39 PANDARUS.
40 At whose pleasure, friend?
41 SERVANT.
42 At mine, sir, and theirs that love music.
43 PANDARUS.
44 Command, I mean, friend.
45 SERVANT.
46 Who shall I command, sir?
47 PANDARUS.
48 Friend, we understand not one another: I am too courtly, and thou art
49 too cunning. At whose request do these men play?
50 SERVANT.
51 That’s to’t, indeed, sir. Marry, sir, at the request of Paris my lord,
52 who is there in person; with him the mortal Venus, the heart-blood of
53 beauty, love’s invisible soul—
54 PANDARUS.
55 Who, my cousin, Cressida?
56 SERVANT.
57 No, sir, Helen. Could not you find out that by her attributes?
58 PANDARUS.
59 It should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the Lady Cressida. I
60 come to speak with Paris from the Prince Troilus; I will make a
61 complimental assault upon him, for my business seethes.
62 SERVANT.
63 Sodden business! There’s a stew’d phrase indeed!
64 Enter Paris and Helen, attended.
65 PANDARUS.
66 Fair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair company! Fair desires, in
67 all fair measure, fairly guide them—especially to you, fair queen! Fair
68 thoughts be your fair pillow.
69 HELEN.
70 Dear lord, you are full of fair words.
71 PANDARUS.
72 You speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen. Fair prince, here is good
73 broken music.
74 PARIS.
75 You have broke it, cousin; and by my life, you shall make it whole
76 again; you shall piece it out with a piece of your performance.
77 HELEN.
78 He is full of harmony.
79 PANDARUS.
80 Truly, lady, no.
81 HELEN.
82 O, sir—
83 PANDARUS.
84 Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.
85 PARIS.
86 Well said, my lord. Well, you say so in fits.
87 PANDARUS.
88 I have business to my lord, dear queen. My lord, will you vouchsafe me
89 a word?
90 HELEN.
91 Nay, this shall not hedge us out. We’ll hear you sing, certainly—
92 PANDARUS.
93 Well sweet queen, you are pleasant with me. But, marry, thus, my lord:
94 my dear lord and most esteemed friend, your brother Troilus—
95 HELEN.
96 My Lord Pandarus, honey-sweet lord—
97 PANDARUS.
98 Go to, sweet queen, go to—commends himself most affectionately to you—
99 HELEN.
100 You shall not bob us out of our melody. If you do, our melancholy upon
101 your head!
102 PANDARUS.
103 Sweet queen, sweet queen; that’s a sweet queen, i’ faith.
104 HELEN.
105 And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.
106 PANDARUS.
107 Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall it not, in truth, la.
108 Nay, I care not for such words; no, no.—And, my lord, he desires you
109 that, if the King call for him at supper, you will make his excuse.
110 HELEN.
111 My Lord Pandarus!
112 PANDARUS.
113 What says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?
114 PARIS.
115 What exploit’s in hand? Where sups he tonight?
116 HELEN.
117 Nay, but, my lord—
118 PANDARUS.
119 What says my sweet queen?—My cousin will fall out with you.
120 HELEN.
121 You must not know where he sups.
122 PARIS.
123 I’ll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.
124 PANDARUS.
125 No, no, no such matter; you are wide. Come, your disposer is sick.
126 PARIS.
127 Well, I’ll make’s excuse.
128 PANDARUS.
129 Ay, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida?
130 No, your poor disposer’s sick.
131 PARIS.
132 I spy.
133 PANDARUS.
134 You spy! What do you spy?—Come, give me an instrument. Now, sweet
135 queen.
136 HELEN.
137 Why, this is kindly done.
138 PANDARUS.
139 My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have, sweet queen.
140 HELEN.
141 She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my Lord Paris.
142 PANDARUS.
143 He? No, she’ll none of him; they two are twain.
144 HELEN.
145 Falling in, after falling out, may make them three.
146 PANDARUS.
147 Come, come. I’ll hear no more of this; I’ll sing you a song now.
148 HELEN.
149 Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou hast a fine
150 forehead.
151 PANDARUS.
152 Ay, you may, you may.
153 HELEN.
154 Let thy song be love. This love will undo us all. O Cupid, Cupid,
155 Cupid!
156 PANDARUS.
157 Love! Ay, that it shall, i’ faith.
158 PARIS.
159 Ay, good now, love, love, nothing but love.
160 PANDARUS.
161 In good troth, it begins so.
162 [_Sings_.]
163 _Love, love, nothing but love, still love, still more!
164 For, oh, love’s bow
165 Shoots buck and doe;
166 The shaft confounds
167 Not that it wounds,
168 But tickles still the sore.
169 These lovers cry, O ho, they die!
170 Yet that which seems the wound to kill
171 Doth turn O ho! to ha! ha! he!
172 So dying love lives still.
173 O ho! a while, but ha! ha! ha!
174 O ho! groans out for ha! ha! ha!—hey ho!_
175 HELEN.
176 In love, i’ faith, to the very tip of the nose.
177 PARIS.
178 He eats nothing but doves, love; and that breeds hot blood, and hot
179 blood begets hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot
180 deeds is love.
181 PANDARUS.
182 Is this the generation of love: hot blood, hot thoughts, and hot deeds?
183 Why, they are vipers. Is love a generation of vipers? Sweet lord, who’s
184 a-field today?
185 PARIS.
186 Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the gallantry of Troy. I
187 would fain have arm’d today, but my Nell would not have it so. How
188 chance my brother Troilus went not?
189 HELEN.
190 He hangs the lip at something. You know all, Lord Pandarus.
191 PANDARUS.
192 Not I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they spend today. You’ll
193 remember your brother’s excuse?
194 PARIS.
195 To a hair.
196 PANDARUS.
197 Farewell, sweet queen.
198 HELEN.
199 Commend me to your niece.
200 PANDARUS.
201 I will, sweet queen.
202 [_Exit. Sound a retreat_.]
203 PARIS.
204 They’re come from the field. Let us to Priam’s hall
205 To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you
206 To help unarm our Hector. His stubborn buckles,
207 With these your white enchanting fingers touch’d,
208 Shall more obey than to the edge of steel
209 Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more
210 Than all the island kings—disarm great Hector.
211 HELEN.
212 ’Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris;
213 Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty
214 Gives us more palm in beauty than we have,
215 Yea, overshines ourself.
216 PARIS.
217 Sweet, above thought I love thee.
218 [_Exeunt_.]